I hit the wall

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sim, Feb 21, 2009.

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  1. sim

    sim New Member

    Hey, I hope that’s the right forum to have a talk about getting on with the living, or making a move and proceed with suicide. I have come to the dull age of 37 and realized that I have nothing to look forward to. I am alone, not that I mind being alone, but if you have nothing to live for and nothing brings you joy anymore, well, what is the point of hanging on and clinging to time. I know, many people here are ill, some perhaps terminally. If it sounds like whining, fair enough, point taken.

    I’ve been fooling around with the idea of suicide for 2 years, not in a big way, just thinking now and then about it.
    A buddy told me over a year ago that if I wouldn’t put myself together and organize my live somewhat I will be finished in 2 years. I didn’t care, of course,
    about that what he had to say as regards my idea of self-control because I hate when someone tries to advise me on such personal stuff like my own life, and also told him to shove his advice and perhaps become a priest. He is a very smart guy, no doubt about it, with sort of a druid appearance, at least when one gets to know him better. I took his advice seriously, not that I would admit it, but there was no much time to think about it until about four month ago when I had finished my last job and didn’t bother to look for another. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, waiting for the cash to run out some day. I’ve made a mess of my life, but it doesn’t matter now. I gave up drinking in December, thinking about alcohol as the cause. It was a piece of cake as I’d never been an alcoholic really, just a few beers in the evening and a glass of schnapps, hardly ever to knock myself off. It didn’t help me at all; I still feel like staring into a concrete wall, only the image is clearer.
     
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i am glad you reached out here hun. . .. . at the ripe old age of 45, i consider you quite a baby - and much much time left for you. .. time, means an open door. a new opportunity. an instant - that can change a life.

    your life. if you are alive....you have a chance to create a life that you want.
    if you go. . . . we are one life short, and a great light in the darkness, missing. so dont' go. stay here with us. the courage it took to reach out - that shows you are very strong. ...

    we can help you - you'll find many caring people here. my pm box is open to you - please talk to me. ... i care about you :hug:
     
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