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I hold no fear for death... Only open arms

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Drekono, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. Drekono

    Drekono Well-Known Member

    I truly have no fear of dieing. Ever since my last suicide attempt i've been numb. i wake up each day and could care less if it was my last day. There is nothing i want to do before i die. Nothing i want to accomplish. I dont even care about trying to be happy. There is no point. Happiness is just a false illusion that will fade away with time. Happiness never lasts. The only reason i haven't ended my own miserable excuse of an existence already is because of my family. I saw the unfortunate aftermath of my last suicide attempt. I witnessed what it would do to them. The ER doctor came out and told my family i wasnt going to make it. My blood levels held 4 times the lethal limit of lithium. I was dead to them. And it was easy. So very easy. i could have just never woken up. It wouldnt have felt any different to me. i should be dead. I want to be dead, simple as that, but i dont want to hurt people in the process. so i feel like im just biding my time. hoping that something will come along and finish me off. Dieing is what i want and if this can happen without putting the pain of a suicide on the family i am ready for it. I hold no fear for death, only open arms.

    A person that does not fear their death is truly dangerous. They will do things that sane people would not. They will casually walk down paths that they should not take and smile in the face of fear.

    Do not mourn the free remember them
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Unfortunately people will be hurt and will mourn your death. If you are feeling this way then something is not working. Your meds your therapy try changing both up ask doctor for new meds try different therapy. Just know people will suffer greatly and there is no undoing that. They will be left behind to suffer as you are all of them. Next time go to hospital and don't OD get help if not for you then for the people who love you
  3. adalana

    adalana Member

    its true what u said on your post, that family is the only obstacle for me to commit suicide

    honestly i really not found any way out from suicide, the issue is still there, suicide is like some egoistic action for me, to run away from this freaking world, but still its really a nice way to run away, but if there's no one will have the negative impact when i commit suicide

    what will happen to my parents when i died, i cant even imagine

    damn, its just keep better and better every time i realize

  4. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I understand where you are coming from. A guy at work was injured in a plane, if he had of died I would have been so jealous. Another guy at work killed himself, why can't I do it.
  5. hiram

    hiram Member

    i get you. ive been there too. sometimes i would rather die with the happy memories i still have and remember than live on and forget about them. i wish it would be easier. if i could die and not change a thing in this world. that everything would be normal. i dont know how i managed to get here, but i want out, just like you. i wish it were easier.
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