I hope someone will listen!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ameretat, Oct 1, 2010.

  1. ameretat

    ameretat Active Member

    Hi... I am new to this whole chat site thing but i was told that talking to someone might help me but no one around me knows how I feel and frankly I'm afraid to talk to them about it and say the wrong thing, so I'm really hoping that some one here will help me a little. For a while now I have been in this funk that I can't seem to get out of... I am 20 years old and just moved in with my Fiancée. I used to live in the country and moved to the city and people here stare and scare me... I just don't want to leave this apartment.. I need to get a job because i never feel good and really need to go to the doctor but I can't afford one right now (no insurance). I just think I never feel good because I'm always cooped up in here all the time. I have been trying to have a baby for a while and can't but all my friends around me are... Heck just in the last 3 days 4 people told me they were having babies and friends i cant talk to know something is wrong with me and they all say well this person and this person is pregnant you should feel better umm... hello no i don't that is just making it worse. I know I'm going on and on but i just don't know what to do any more since i got laid off from my job and moved here I'm afraid to leave or do anything i just want to lay in bed ALL the time and die and never wake up!! I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but it is my whole life has been awful my mom and dad beat me my whole life and i thought things were going to get better when i left but they didn't. I feel like nothing is ever right. I feel like theres things i cant tell the man I'm going to marry b/c i don't want him to give up on me like everyone else. I used to have a best (girl) friend but not anymore they all find a way to blame everything on me and then leave. My mom and dad wont even tell me congrats on getting married.. I'm their only daughter. It really hurts me. I really hope someone here can talk to me and tell me how to make this better I used to have some very bad habits that i did to myself.. I stopped them but still they cross my mind. Just feel ready to rip my hair out!! Will someone please help me!! I would greatly appreciate it.... Thank you so much!
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You arent going on and on. Your doing exactly what you need to do. Getting and letting some very serious issues out and trying to find someway to deal with it all.

    I'm glad you're not pregnant. I dont meant that to sound mean or harsh. But hun you really do need to help yourself before you can raise and help another little person. So please dont let your friends make you feel bad. When the time is right, it will happen for you too. And then you can really enjoy being the great parent that you want to be.

    So many things that could help. But I dont really know much about what help you may have tried to find or are using already. Like meds, pdoc, therapist etc. Would you feel comfortable enough to share that info? If not here, certainly drop me a pm and we can talk about it.

    You arent alone. So many people here know exactly what you're feeling and trying to deal with. Keep posting. Even if you dont find anything else, you will find the relief of talking about things that you have tried to hide away for so long :arms:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi isolation will bring on depression more. I think if you could just get out and go for awalk a coffee meet with new people in a group it would help. Call a doctor okay see if he will give you some medication for depression Look into community group therapies okay here they are free that way you can meet people too. It will take time to heal those inner wounds and talking here will definitely help. Post rant vent but do it okay let the dam pain and sadness out so you can breath a bit lighter. take care okay get some help I too agree with Itmahanh a baby at this time is not a good thing not until you are emotionally stable until you are strong and heal from all that pain Then you will be able to enjoy the child more okay. see what councelling there is okay by you IF there is a university sometimes the graduating students there in psychiatry or psychology will offer their services at a much cheaper rate as well take care of you NOW okay
  4. ameretat

    ameretat Active Member

    Thank you guys so much for listening! I know I'm glad I don't have a baby either I don't want to bring one into this world like this! I can't go to a doctor yet.. I don't have insurance till January then I will get it again and I can't wait I def. want something to help me. Walks are a good idea I do those a lot with my puppy.
    I just am scared to be here by myself since I don't know anyone here and most of these people stare and scare me as I walk by...