Hi... I am new to this whole chat site thing but i was told that talking to someone might help me but no one around me knows how I feel and frankly I'm afraid to talk to them about it and say the wrong thing, so I'm really hoping that some one here will help me a little. For a while now I have been in this funk that I can't seem to get out of... I am 20 years old and just moved in with my Fiancée. I used to live in the country and moved to the city and people here stare and scare me... I just don't want to leave this apartment.. I need to get a job because i never feel good and really need to go to the doctor but I can't afford one right now (no insurance). I just think I never feel good because I'm always cooped up in here all the time. I have been trying to have a baby for a while and can't but all my friends around me are... Heck just in the last 3 days 4 people told me they were having babies and friends i cant talk to know something is wrong with me and they all say well this person and this person is pregnant you should feel better umm... hello no i don't that is just making it worse. I know I'm going on and on but i just don't know what to do any more since i got laid off from my job and moved here I'm afraid to leave or do anything i just want to lay in bed ALL the time and die and never wake up!! I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but it is my whole life has been awful my mom and dad beat me my whole life and i thought things were going to get better when i left but they didn't. I feel like nothing is ever right. I feel like theres things i cant tell the man I'm going to marry b/c i don't want him to give up on me like everyone else. I used to have a best (girl) friend but not anymore they all find a way to blame everything on me and then leave. My mom and dad wont even tell me congrats on getting married.. I'm their only daughter. It really hurts me. I really hope someone here can talk to me and tell me how to make this better I used to have some very bad habits that i did to myself.. I stopped them but still they cross my mind. Just feel ready to rip my hair out!! Will someone please help me!! I would greatly appreciate it.... Thank you so much!