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I Hope This Helps

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Jens3B, Feb 4, 2013.

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  1. Jens3B

    Jens3B New Member

    Hello. My name is Jen. I want to tell you all about myself, but I'm going to hold some back for right now if that's okay. So, what I want to share:
    I am female, in my 40's. I am married and I have children. From that information alone, it seems ridiculous to me that I should even be here, but I'm guessing there will be others like me here (I hope).

    I had my first suicide attempt at 16 years old. My parents sent me to a psychologist. I guess I wasn't crazy enough to keep going, so I was declared "all well" and sent on my way.
    I didn't have many thoughts of suicide for a long while after that, so I assumed it was an adolescent stage. I was wrong.

    My last attempt was in 2001. That's almost 12 years now. Pretty good. Problem is, while I have not made attempts, it is strongly on my mind way too often. It's my "go-to" solution when things get too tough. I'm embarassed and ashamed that I think about it, so I don't know why I fear I may ultimately die by my own hand.

    I don't know if it's possible to permanently escape this cloud that seems to hang over me. If I can't, I hope to at least cope and continue to live. I'm not here tonight because I have any plans to off myself right now. I just want to understand myself better and listen to what others have to offer. It is such a taboo topic, and short of getting myself to a therapist (which I probably should do), I hope this forum can help me.

    Thanks for having me. :wave:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Jens glad to see you reaching out again for help It is a good place to come and talk and to release some of the stressors that cause that way of thinking Hugs to you
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Jen and welcome...I have found that if someone thinks s/he would benefit from a therapist, then that is what s/he should do. Depression is a hard monkey to get off one's back alone. That is one reason we come together. To support and care for each other...please continue to post and let us know what is going on and welcome again
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Jen. Glad you are here. I think this is a great community. There are many people here who live with the shadow of what you describe. And here we do not have to hide it. I hope you find this forum helpful to you. And I am sure that your presence here will be helpful, if this is your intention :) Nice to meet you.
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