Dear God/Universe/Whatever if there's anything up there, Why do I have to feel like shit all the time? Why won't things get better? Why were my job and my gf, the 2 things that filled my life taken away from me? Why does Mum have to keep suffering to keep a roof over our heads? I need help. I need a way out. I can't handle this much longer. Everything in my life right now is beyond my control. I can't move on since she broke up with me I lost her and I couldn't control it. I wanted to work things out between us... why was she so slack? Why couldn't things work between us? Why were we kept apart? Why couldn't I see her and hold her? All I wanted was to love her, be there for her and show her how beautiful she is. I want her to be happy, but why can't I be happy too? Its like in order for her to be happy I have to feel like shit. Maybe we weren't meant to be, but why did all that have to be waved right in front of my face? How come I got promised everything and got nothing? Some kick in the face huh? When do I get my turn to love and be loved? I had no control over being let go from my job. there wasn't enough work. It was a good job and I had a good boss. Maybe I didn't appreciate him and his family enough. They gave me a chance only for it evaporate without me having a say in it. Just another kick in the face. I have all these feelings that I don't know what to do with. Can't I just be happy and without feeling like I don't deserve it or I shouldn't be happy?