i hurt all the time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by feelingpain, May 16, 2015.

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  1. feelingpain

    feelingpain New Member

    I don't know how to start this.I don't usually succumb to a weakness but iv driven away the woman I love...I can't help myself.im constantly paranoid and keep accusing her of cheating..iv had relationships in the past and been cheated on everytime except 1...wev just been on a great holiday and came back engaged but I still can't stop my mind from thinking the worst...I don't know how to get help as I don't think people take this illness seriously.im from a very 'macho' family so have no1 to talk to and my girl thinks its something I should be able to do easily.she's given me the ring back and told me its over.I should be happier than ever right now but this insecurity just won't be shifted.im scared if I let my guard down ill miss a sign that she's cheating.to be honest I do t blame her and that's what's killing me as I know I can't change this easily.I dont want to lose her but I think its passed now as iv driven her away.my inability to stop these negative thoughts are to blame I suppose and im gutted as I know they'll not stop easily.I can't even promise her that because it would be a lie..iv sat ere tonight looking for easy ways to end it all because I can't handle the reality of the situation which is IM THE 1 to blame for finding trust so hard to come by...iv read something about a 3day thinking period and to be honest if I can't find a solution I really dont know what ill do.I buried a friend id known for 33yrs yesterday too who committed suicide but instead of being a detterent it actually spurs me on.can some1 please give me some advice?I feel totally lost and totally alone.I can't really open up and speak to no1 as im not supposed to feel like this.im supposed to be tougher than this and im worried I won't get taken seriously
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I am saddened to hear that you are suffering from the loss of an close relationship which has felt you totally heartbroken. The additional loss of a close friend is also causing to suffer emotional internal turmoil. First, you need to see medical advice as no doubt it has broken you daily routine and you living a nightmare everyday with no where to turn to. You need to stick to a daily routine that keeps you busy.

    Also please consider counselling or group therapy. There is nothing wrong with do this as people will understand who truly care about. Yes the "macho" image or persona has to maintained but you do not have to tell anyone. You must remember the grieving process of your friend has kicked and you question yourself about life. Let me tell you life is important and matter what you are currently thinking, you must remain calm and YOU MUST NIT ACT on any feelings you may have.

    Each day you face is not easy but you deal with the feelings you have on a hour by hour basis. Please do not think you are alone but read the other posts here as it will help to understand a lot of people suffer whilst maintaining a face mask of smiles. Many people will not let their guard down as they might think people will laugh and ridicule them. You have to remain strong. Yes, it's hard but keep posting here and let us help you through your time of crisis.

    Remember to safe and rake care. If you want to in private, then PM me anytime. Day or night. Please watch this video that someone else posted in another thread.

    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2015
  3. Leolsrik

    Leolsrik Well-Known Member

    I'd say the worst thing about being a man is the idea that you're supposed to be "too strong to have emotional problems". That's bullshit. You're human, problematic feelings are unavoidable. Embrace them and deal with them, don't be ashamed or afraid of them. I don't know if it's possible in your situation, but it would really help you if you had someone you could open up to, someone you won't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of.

    Also, I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but it has to be said: Is it really such a terrible thing if she "cheats" on you? Sexual attraction is a temporary thing, while marriage is a long-term commitment. Long-term relationships are based on trust and communication and love of the other person's mind, not their body. Perhaps, if you accept that it's possible for your partner to have sex with someone else occasionally while still being in love with you and determined to stay with you, that will help you trust her more.
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