I hurt

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Freya, Apr 28, 2014.

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  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    And its too much. I need it to stop or at least abate a little bit so I can think about SOMETHING else - something other than all the bad awful things - about how broken everything is - about how I cannot FIX anything for anyone, least of all myself. I do not know what to do and I do not know how to make it better.

    It feels like everyone else abandoned ship long ago and I am hanging on for dear life to shreds of hope in a frozen ocean and I don't know if there is enough left not to sink anyway. And I am trying. But I am exhausted by kicking for a surface that feels to be covered in ice - I don't have the energy to do it alone but there sure as hell isn't anyone to help. I can't break through and the pocket of air I'm surviving on might be enough to keep me alive but its not going to keep me from freezing.

    I hurt so much that I can't even name it any more - I can't point to the painful things and say "that" - I just know it hurts and I need it to stop. I want to fall asleep without crying myself to exhaustion to get there. I want to be able to listen to music. I want to stop feeling this insidious burning resentment of everyone in my life who is happy.

    I hurt. And I want it to stop.
     
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i wish i could help. perhaps we can help in chat.
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know I can't ttake the pain away, but I want you to know I care. Sending a :hug: and am here if there's anything I can do.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Freya you write so clearly about your pain and sadness You are not alone ok please know that we care and i do hope that somehow you can get the sadness and pain to decrease some keep talking to us ok hugs
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I have no words, but am sending a virtual hug and know that you can always talk to me.
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am so sorry for this pain you write about, Freya. Why do so many good people suffer such great oceans of pain? Sending you huge hugs and have asked for help for you. Wish I could do more. I really do. :hug:
     
  7. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Thank you all. I feel slightly better today I think. I am just so so tired of everything being broken and messed up. I can't seem to fix... anything. I hate things being out of my control and having no way to make them even slightly better. I am feel really very alone and isolated. I know it is weak but I just want someone to look after me for a week or two. Cuddle me and feed me and talk to me and just... be there. I know that is weak and self pitying but its what I want. Failing that, I want to be able to make something better so I don't have so many things to worry about all at once.
     
  8. CD110

    CD110 Well-Known Member

    All I can say is, I appreciate how you talk to and try to help the troubled visitors to the forum. You're a good person. I wish I knew you IRL.
     
  9. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Love you Freya :hug:
     
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