Three month ago as the title says I jumped off an 80foot bridge onto a quiet road below and lived. It was planned, and I remember getting up and over the railing around it, feeling scared and then slowly going forward until I got a fright - when I slipped.
A month or so later I was brought round and I was in intensive care. At first I couldnt remember what had happened and the nurses were careful with what they said to me.
I just got out of hospital on Monday, it was a three month stay.
Id broken my back in 4 places, neck in 3. Broke lots of ribs, had two collapsed lungs, smashed my left elbow to pieces. Along with snapping both thigh bones, my pelvis and to top it all internal bleeding.
Now im left with a useless arm thats always sore, back pain and I have to walk using crutches. Ive left myself in such a sorry state. I never for one second thought thst I would surivive jumping off the bridge to tell the tale, but I have and now wish the whole thing never happened as ive screwed up my body for the rest of my life.
My friends had no idea this was coming, even though I had carefully thought about what to do so that it would work and when to do it. I never wanted to have to face them, and I had to. When I was more with it in intensive care and I kinda came around I could see all the pain and upset I had caused them because they were so happy I could finally talk. I was on life support for just over 4 weeks and at a few times I think it was touch and go.
I dont know why ive searched and found this forum, sometime now I still think well I should have died and want to. But I know thats stupid, ive managed to convince the shrinks at the hospital when I was in this was a one off and out of the blue, even tho they knew id tried overdosing before as I was found in a coma and admitted this year and had a failed attempt the year before. Once suicidal thoughts have entered my mind I dont think they will ever go away, well at least not until I do. Its kind of always there eating away at the back of my mind, and I dont know why. Im young have lots of friends around me, goodlooking and was fairly fit and mobile before I took the leap at least
A month or so later I was brought round and I was in intensive care. At first I couldnt remember what had happened and the nurses were careful with what they said to me.
I just got out of hospital on Monday, it was a three month stay.
Id broken my back in 4 places, neck in 3. Broke lots of ribs, had two collapsed lungs, smashed my left elbow to pieces. Along with snapping both thigh bones, my pelvis and to top it all internal bleeding.
Now im left with a useless arm thats always sore, back pain and I have to walk using crutches. Ive left myself in such a sorry state. I never for one second thought thst I would surivive jumping off the bridge to tell the tale, but I have and now wish the whole thing never happened as ive screwed up my body for the rest of my life.
My friends had no idea this was coming, even though I had carefully thought about what to do so that it would work and when to do it. I never wanted to have to face them, and I had to. When I was more with it in intensive care and I kinda came around I could see all the pain and upset I had caused them because they were so happy I could finally talk. I was on life support for just over 4 weeks and at a few times I think it was touch and go.
I dont know why ive searched and found this forum, sometime now I still think well I should have died and want to. But I know thats stupid, ive managed to convince the shrinks at the hospital when I was in this was a one off and out of the blue, even tho they knew id tried overdosing before as I was found in a coma and admitted this year and had a failed attempt the year before. Once suicidal thoughts have entered my mind I dont think they will ever go away, well at least not until I do. Its kind of always there eating away at the back of my mind, and I dont know why. Im young have lots of friends around me, goodlooking and was fairly fit and mobile before I took the leap at least