I will try and make as much sence as I can with this post.. I have reach a point in my life where I dont feel much of anything (emotionally that is). I dont get as angry as I use to when my husband does or says something stupid. Honestly I dont even feel mad at all, I just correct him, or yell at him if I have heard enough of it for one day. The only real emotion I have been able to feel lately is sadness. Unless you count anxious, neverous, panicky sadness as a seperate emotion...My fridge has been going to hell for the past few weeks. Everytime youd open the freezer smoke would roll. Well today it finally died on us. I got so depressed when I came home from a long day at the doctors to find my fridge oven hot and half of what was inside spoiled. I threw out over half of what was inside it. Luckily most of the meat was in the big seperate freezer. But still I dont have any more food money now and Im not sure what to do.. Luckily I had a tiny little fridge that stays just cold enough to keep things from spoiling. Im taller then it is so it doesnt hold much..I just sat down at the kitchen table, pulled off my glasses, and cried into my hands. I told my husband I wanted to (well I wont say the method but I wanted to kill myself). I explained to him I have lived thru hell and I dont want to take anymore. I called my mom who said things would get better and I said WHEN. of course she had no answer, going thru hell herself right now.. Anyways..I feel like shit..I cant look at myself in the mirror hardly because I make myself sick (my weight). I have to laugh at things to keep from screaming and chocking someone..I just feel sad.. I dont know what I was trying to get at..Im just depressed..