I am so alone and have no hope for the future all I have is a crappy part time job at tesco and I could quite happily kill myself just to avoid going there. I talk to a therapist but barely see her after my first few sessions I didn’t see her for 2 months. Then after a few more sessions she had a week off from work and I haven’t seen her for 5 weeks even someone who gets paid to talk to doesn’t want to. I am 18 and haven’t been in school for about a year now and nothings changed. It’s not that I want to die it’s that I am just so alone and thought that I have a whole life ahead of me just makes me want to jump off a cliff. I can feel myself wanting to do it more and more I have tried 3 times to kill myself I have on 2 occasions tried to slit my wrists but could not stand the pain. I have tried to shoot myself with an air rifle but when I did it jammed I couldn’t believe it I thought that only happened in movies. I had a good feeling about that and thought maybe I was supposed to live but that feeling has long gone and now I want to die again.