I've tried to make appointments with my doctor to ask about meds or something to make this never ending depression stop. But everytime I grab the phone and start to dial, something always makes me stop.
Fear is what gets me the most. I worry- will the doctor just brush me away? Will he really listen to me? What if that's the one day I'm feeling good and I don't pass whatever tests he puts me through for depression?
And then I'm just stuck with my extreme shyness, if he wants me to talk, or sends me to someone to talk, what if I can't talk? Last time when I went to a therapist I was very quiet and just wouldn't open up- I couldn't, everything I wanted to complain about sounded stupid when I thought about it.
Besides, I have NO idea why I wanna cry. Or why I just wanna lie around. I don't know why I'm depressed?
I wanna reach out for help but I'm terrified of tellin my doc or havin my family know how I really feel...
Fear is what gets me the most. I worry- will the doctor just brush me away? Will he really listen to me? What if that's the one day I'm feeling good and I don't pass whatever tests he puts me through for depression?
And then I'm just stuck with my extreme shyness, if he wants me to talk, or sends me to someone to talk, what if I can't talk? Last time when I went to a therapist I was very quiet and just wouldn't open up- I couldn't, everything I wanted to complain about sounded stupid when I thought about it.
Besides, I have NO idea why I wanna cry. Or why I just wanna lie around. I don't know why I'm depressed?
I wanna reach out for help but I'm terrified of tellin my doc or havin my family know how I really feel...