I just can't ask my doctor....

I've tried to make appointments with my doctor to ask about meds or something to make this never ending depression stop. But everytime I grab the phone and start to dial, something always makes me stop.

Fear is what gets me the most. I worry- will the doctor just brush me away? Will he really listen to me? What if that's the one day I'm feeling good and I don't pass whatever tests he puts me through for depression?

And then I'm just stuck with my extreme shyness, if he wants me to talk, or sends me to someone to talk, what if I can't talk? Last time when I went to a therapist I was very quiet and just wouldn't open up- I couldn't, everything I wanted to complain about sounded stupid when I thought about it.

Besides, I have NO idea why I wanna cry. Or why I just wanna lie around. I don't know why I'm depressed?

I wanna reach out for help but I'm terrified of tellin my doc or havin my family know how I really feel...

 

Sara,

Here is what I did. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your GP, mine was good and had been with him for about 10 years, although I only saw him about once a year (if that), we communicated well.

I made an appointment, making it clear to the receptionist that the appointment needed to be with the Doc - not one of his PA's. When I went in for the appointment, he asked what was wrong. I told him that I had been going through some heavy stress for some time and was finding myself in a depression that was something that I couldn't seem to pull out of. I told him about drugs I had researched, asked his opinion, then asked if he had any practical experience with positive results from any of his other patients. He said that he did, and his recommendation was one from my research list, so he prescribed it. It was really not stressful, but I was very direct and clearly spoken with him.

Having said that - I would not easily take the drugs again. They help in the short moment, but there are underlying problems that are causing the depression - whatever that may be - and until that is addressed, the effectiveness of the medication will slowly subside and the problems will again take the upper hand.

Good luck to you Sara

 

Good luck to you too, Sara.

P.S. I've always found it helpful to type or write down what I'm thinking and what's troubling me when I'm feeling down. At one point, I would hand a paper saying what had been troubling/triggering me in the past week or two. :hug: Then, even if I'm having a relatively decent day, I can still have something to show for the bad days I've endured before the day of the appointment.

Mr. A

 

Roscho- Thanks. I have a good relationship with my doctor. He's the type that listens to me. I think...I'm still haunted from the doctor I had before that would just brush me away. I tell myself I can talk to this doctor but I find myself at the same time gun shy...

Mr Alex- Thank you! I'm going to try that and help remind myself that I am strong.

:hug: to both of you