I cant. There is no fucking way i can be human. Therefore i should be dead. I was born in the wrong body. that must be it, there is no way i can be this fucking person. I fuck up, not only myself but everyone that i come in contact. If it wasnt for myself i would be dead, so fuck it, ill try, again. If i die i wont come back. ill fight it, i cant belive that i will. if i do i will give up. She gave up, she wont even try to remember me, or her life, why should i remember mine? she wont try to get out of bed, she wont try to fight anymore, why should i? she is dying, why cant i? If the strongest one i know dies, how can i go on? I feel left, nobody cares, i know they dont. They deal with me, its always been that way.I read it, i can hear it, i feel it with what little feeling i have. i should be dead. i must try to relive you of the burden, and take this pain away. even now tears are wasted, but im a fucking waste, everything spent on me is a waste. Dont waste the energy, even through your fingers. its all a fucking waste. Story of my life.