Tonight is the night I finally end it all. I want to ask for help but I can't, my severe anxiety means I find it hard to even be seen in public let alone ask for help. There is nothing left for me here, I have nothing in my future planned and I will not be missed. I always hear that things will get better but they never do, everything just ends up being a big disappointment. I'm not going to leave a note for my family as I don't see the point. There's only one person I want to notify, someone who has been a good friend to me for many years. I finally met her in person for the first time on Wednesday after 6 years and wanted to tell her everything but I couldn't. I can't live with myself knowing that I will go through the rest of life unable to express myself. I feel like my doctor has let me down, I have hinted to him that I need more help but he just prescribes me medicine and says I should go back in a month or two. I have my method planned, I will go out listening to an album that means so much to me. I finally feel some sense of happiness knowing that in just a matter of hours I will be at peace.