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I just can't do it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by daredhead, Dec 4, 2008.

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  1. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    I can't deal with school because I am just so deeply depressed. My father is one of the main reasons I couldn't go. He told one of my teachers what was going on with me, and I just can't seem to face it.

    By not going to school I'm hurting my mom. She says I just don't understand, but in truth she doesn't understand. I am feeling hopeless, and the meds I'm on are not helping. I just want to escape, but if I even mentioned killing myself I would be back in the hospital.

    I just can't take it anymore. My parents won't stop pressuring me to do better than what they did, and it's tearing me to shreds. I have basically lost my best friend, and the only thing that is keeping me here is my sister. I don't even think she cares at times. I just want to escape.
  2. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    hi there

    sorry to hear your going thru such a depressing time, it sounds like you are not really getting the support you need, did you tell your dad befor hand, not to mention any of it to your school? i can understand when you say the meds are not working, they did'nt for me either, are you seeing anyone to talk this thru? i mean a lot of schools in the UK have councellors,

    you really dont have to go thru this all by yourself

    i really hope things get better for you


  3. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I did tell my dad not to tell anyone, but he never listens. I do have a counseler that I can talk to at school, but it's by appointment only and mine is on Wednesdays, which of course was yesterday. My mom says I should call her, but I hate using the phone.
  4. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    how you finding the school coucellor? it dont sound like you are benefiting from it, you say you hate using the fone? have you tried calling your mom, what is it you fear so much from talking to her?
  5. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    My mom is always so critical, and she gets upset every time I even mention my depression. She tells me that I need to grow up and face the real world, but she doesn't understand how hard it is for me to even face other people.

    The counselor was "assigned" to me after I got out of the hospital for the second time. I can talk to her sometimes, but I don't feel like dealing with her trying to drag me to school, which she would do.
  6. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    your mum sounds a little like my dad, he has always said be strong and deal with whatever life throws at you. easier said then done right?! your mum is probley just as scared as you are, only you can ever really know what your feeling, no matter how much you try and tell someone else, your mum may feel getting you back in school will help, because you will be mixing with other people again, how old are you if you dont mind me asking?
  7. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    I'm 15, in 10th grade.
  8. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    so young... all i can really say is... try and deal with the issues now, otherwise it will built up over the years and get worse...

    when you are older, you will look back and think, why did i ever spend my youth feeling so miserable and depressed, but i know you can't help how you feel at the time!

    Stay safe


  9. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    Thanks Lost, I'm feeling a little better now. I am going to go see my doctor about my meds, because I sware they are messing up my stomach among other things.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good luck hun, Im here if you need to talk :)
  11. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    If you really feel this bad, then maybe it's time for a change in medicene. Maybe it's not so bad now that your teacher knows, depending on if it's a teacher you like or not, maybe he/she can help you some. When my teacher found out about my depression... though I told her before my parents, she was a big help and offered lots of support. Though I don't know again what your teacher is like.

    If you mention suicide to your doctor, they will not just throw you in the hospital, unless you give them a descriptive detail, just say "I've been thinking about suicide but I don't intend to kill myself" and you should be fine.

    Just talk to your doctor about how you feel the medication is not working for you and perhaps get a change. If something is not working there isn't any need to continue on with it.
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Just want to say if you get that down on yourself and feel like you are going to commit, by all means go back to the hospital. You know you will be safe there. Talk to the shrink and tell him the meds aren't helping. I can relate to that my shrink just switched me to paxil and it doesn't help for shit. I made a promise to friends here on the forum that I will give the hospital one more try. I had my suicide date all set and was ready to go thru with it. Please don't harm yourself, there is nothing to be ashamed about by going back in the hospital. Take Care!~Joseph~
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