I've tried suiciding last night, i used a new method i found and is mostly used in japan (no it's not harakiri) i did "it" (since we can't mention methods) but at the moment i felt half dead, fear overtook me and i pulled myself out once again . . . (now i'm in the hospital for removal of toxins) i was nearly there, i could almost see the blankness of death, but why did i . . i feel like an idiot, i let myself down. why is it so hard? i want help not on living but on conquering that "fear of death" that i have . . i want to end now, i don't want to exist, in fact i no longer exist . . why do i chicken out?!?!? i just want to close my eyes and never wake up again, eternal peace, tha's what we all want. but it's too hard to obtain . .