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I just can't do it...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jehuty, Jan 9, 2009.

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  1. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    For a long time I've felt suicidal because of many reasons in my life.
    Let's just say I stopped being a child after I was 8 years old.

    Last summer holiday I was going to end my life and I almost did.
    Before the holiday I met a girl on a video game, from that moment she felt special to me.

    I knew other girls from the game aswell but she just was so different and made me feel happy when she was around.

    The night when I was going to end my life I kept thinking about her and I just couldn't. :cry: I just couldn't end my life knowing I will never see or talk to her again.

    The next day I told her what I felt for her and everything and it worked out all fine.

    Now after 6/7 months and 3 meetings she wants to end it. :cry:
    She say's I'll be alright but I know I won't. :cry:

    When I got back she got mad at me and stopped talking for a while.
    One night I wanted to kill myself again, but still the thought of her stops me from doing it, everytime. :cry:

    I'm scared that if she really leaves I will seriously end my life. :cry:
    But I can't keep asking her to stay by force or the fear I'll kill myself if she leaves.

    I just don't know what I should do, I tried to forget but my problems only get worse then.
    Wish she came back, wish she holded me in her arms again. :cry:

    At the moment I'm thinking about having a diary at the Members' Diary thing, people probelly won't read it though.

    Would be nice to have someone to talk to over PM or something, or to give me some advice.

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Jehuty,

    It's good that she has been there for you and kept you here but I can't help but think the situation is a little unfair on her. She wants to break up hun, killing yourself because of it would destroy her life. You love her..I'm sure you don't want to hurt her like that. perhaps you should get some counseling to help you cope with the break up? Your relationship isn't healthy.

    It probably won't be as bad as you imagine it to be. Ye can still be friends right?:unsure:

    And you're lovely..I'm sure you'll have no problem finding another nice girlfriend :)

    I'm here for if you need to talk x
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry that after this time things did not work out for the two of you. She may need some time apart. Give her space and see if she wants to get back together with you. If not, do what you need to do to move forward. :hug:
  4. miracletome

    miracletome Active Member

    getting too attached it dangerous! no matter what it is :smile:
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