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i just cant go on like this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bleech, Apr 12, 2011.

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  1. bleech

    bleech New Member

    I fell in love with a man. He is 60 and I'm 32. I'm not sure how it happened. I've been straight up until I started to feel this way. I worked for him and we became close friends. He gave me signs he felt more then friendship for me. Little things like brushing my hand, long lingering looks into my eyes. He talked about sex a lot and made a huge big deal about showing me his zip was down. I don't want to b gay so I ignored the things he said and did for a long time. The more we have spent time together, the more I started fall for him. I decided to tell him how I feel a month ago. I told him that I'm in love with him and he told me he doesn't want anything to do with me any more. He sacked me, telling everyone I've stole from him. He's changed his number and blank me today when I bump into him in the street. He's in my head and my heart all the time. I cant stop thinking about the times we shared, joking around with each other. I miss him so much. I don't want to live without him in my life but he has pushed me away, and I just want to stop hurting so much. It probably seems a bit pathetic but it's how I feel. If I can't have him I don't want to live.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you may have enjoyed the time that you spent with him, but it doesn't seem like a good relationship would have come out of this.

    I've read that falling in love has more to do with your own personal readiness to fall in love than with the qualities that another person poseses. there is a tendency to project qualities on to them that they don't really have.

    it may hurt to separate this way, but I think that you will be able to find somebody that is much better for you if you can just get through this
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    a good therapist can help you understand why you are attracted to an unavailable, untrustworthy and unkind man. you deserve better.
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