I just cant stand it any more!!! =(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by just.me, Jul 25, 2009.

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  1. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    I am 24 y\o living in a country where I barely know the local language
    which means that I cant work on the sort of jobs I am educated with (computers/clients)
    I am here because my dad "invited" me for a limited time
    then he promised he will send me back
    its been 2 years since I came, and he dont want to send me back any more...

    Hes telling me that I have to prove him that I can take care of myself
    before he will send me back, but how can I take care of myself if:
    1. I dont have citizenship so I cant work on most jobs
    2. On the jobs that dont require citizenship I cant work as i am not physically strong enough
    3. On many jobs I cant work anyways due to my anxiety issues

    So I cant work here AT ALL
    while back in my original country I could work here and there
    yet I cant go back as I dont have money for the ticket
    My income is 0, total 0 for 2 years!

    Im suck here, with nothing
    I cant go on like this
    I am wasting my time!
    I have no friends here, as i am not familiar with the local cloture

    i see no other option, I cant live like that
    I must end it :(
    No hope for me, I am lost
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it
    I must end it!!!!!!!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your dad cares for you deeply and probably doesn't want to see you leave. Write him a letter saying everything how you feel lost how there are no jobs available to you because of you anxiety and illness. Is there no one you can borrow some money off of for aticket home. Keep posting here let us know how you are doing. you are not alone just hang in okay and talk with your dad again.
     
  3. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    What an abusive horrible man! Are there any orgnanisations you can go to to free yourself from this financial and emotional abuse?
     
  4. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    nope
    there is nothing i can do
    except killing myself
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    After 2 years, you should have a basic understanding of the culture and you could take the initiative to learn the language. Think of an infant. They have no knowledge of the spoken language and by 2 years of age they can carry on at least a basic conversation. You need to be proactive in your situation. I know it can be difficult, especially with your social anxieties. You can change things for the better without resorting to suicide.
     
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