I just can't stop cutting myself *triggering*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by bladesaremyescape, Aug 6, 2014.

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  1. bladesaremyescape

    bladesaremyescape New Member

    I've had depression and major anxiety since grade 5. I'm now going into grade 9. I've cut and burned myself off and on since then and started recently doing it again after a couple months clean. I love the feeling of cutting.. I love the blood.. I enjoy doing it. The only thing I hate is the scars. Mine usually aren't too deep but I'm very pale so they're easy to see for a long time after. My worst cut took a year to heal and is now just a big white scar. I have no friends, my antidepressants that I've been on for 3 years don't work, my counslor retired and I hate my docter. I don't know what to do anymore. I dont wanna do anything but go to sleep and just not wake up. It's painful to breath.. to think.. to see.. to hear.. it's all too much. I'm always suicidal and I just want everything to stop
     
  2. TheStruggle

    TheStruggle Active Member

    I know what you mean... I suggest you find a new counselor or psychiatrist. Maybe find another hobby? I was able to stop because I started doing more things with my time. :hugtackle: Just don't give up.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, welcome. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I'm like you(i do not cut anymore) but im pale so there are scars. I hope you will find this site helps, is it an option to change your doctor?
     
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    that is abnormal for it to take that long. but please stay strong.
     
  5. bladesaremyescape

    bladesaremyescape New Member

    No not really, technically yes but I don't even want a new docter. I don't even really care about anything.
     
  6. bladesaremyescape

    bladesaremyescape New Member

    Well I've been taking them off and on since grade 5. At first they just made me feel numb, like my feelings were on mute, which I heard is normal, but since that its been nothing.
     
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