I just.. can't talk about what's wrong anymore.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Palm, Apr 28, 2010.

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  1. Palm

    Palm New Member

    My bf is the first person I've been able to talk to about my problems and how I feel. But here lately, I just can't. I feel like my problems are worthless and he'll just get annoyed of me talking about the same shit over and over and over again. So I just stopped telling him I'm hearing things and when I see things and what I hear.. how I feel.. all that. I just don't feel important to anyone anymore and I'm so scared I'm about to fall back down. I've built myself up (If that's what you want to call it) and have been able to push everything to the back of my head (Yeah. It's how I deal with things).. But lately it's getting so hard to do so.
    I'm trying to go to a physiologist, but my mom tells me not to and won't help me because I'll be labeled "crazy" and that the things I hear and see are just "ghost". And part of me doesn't want to go cause I'm worried he'll want to put me in a mental hospital if I tell him how I really feel and how I'm suicidal and how I cut sometimes without realizing it til after.
    I'm scared of everything, really paranoid, I'm depressed and everything else (or so it seems..) and I just hate trying to fight this. I've been dealing with this alone for years but it's only gotten worse and I'm just so tired. I didn't think it could get any worse, but every time I say that.. it gets worse.
    I want to be normal. I want to like to do things and just be normal.

    What do I do? How can I talk to him again? Or anyone? Apparently not talking is pushing me to the edge of a possible lethal hole.
  2. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Your problems certainly aren't worthless, but your bf won't be able to help you overcome what is going on with you.

    I don't know how old you are, but if you can get around your mom, you really do need to see a therapist. Especially if you are hearing and seeing things. Don't worry about what they will say, just find someone you can trust. If your mom refuses, can you talk to someone at school (a counselor)? You don't have to tell them everything, but just let them know that you need to see someone.

    Please talk to someone about what you are feeling. And you can always pm me if I can help.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You could have just described me.. I suggest you see a pdoc..He will put you on meds..I started taking a med for skyzophrenia.. The voices and the things I was seeing have vanished.. It will take trial and error to find the right meds..You should also see a therapist to learn coping skills..If they have to put you in the hospital don't be afraid.. You will be safe in there.. They will get you on meds and make sure you are stable..I recommend you take a book because you do alot of waiting...Theres nothing to do in the hospital..
  4. Palm

    Palm New Member

    I'm 18.

    I'm trying to go to a psychiatrist, but I'm so scared. Either someone in my head talks me out of it or I, myself, talk my self out of it.
    It just scares me.

    If I go, does anyone know exactly what happens?
    Do they want to take blood? Because I'm extremely terrified of needles.
  5. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Honestly, Palm, I don't know if they would take blood. I don't think so, but I could be wrong. If it were truly necessary for any reason in your future, then there are meds you could be given first, that would take away the anxiety.

    I can understand your fear of seeing someone. But I don't want you to have this pain. If there's someone who could help, and I bet there is, I would love for you to have this help.

    I can't literally hold your hand, but I can emotionally do so. Please do see someone. And please pm me if I can help.
  6. Palm

    Palm New Member

    Thank you kitty.
    I searched around on the web yesterday for different people. I found one guy with lots of good reviews. So maybe. I'm getting some money this weekend so I might go if I can talk myself into it and not out of it. =(
  7. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    I hope you go and see this guy. It's always hard to see someone for the first time, but hopefully since he's gotten good reviews, he'll be someone who can really be there for you.

    In any case, I will sure be here for you. And I will be happy to provide a voice that says you can see someone, and you can feel better. :hug:
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