I just can't

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Briezy, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I have been fighting for so long now that I just want to give up. Today the thoughts are really bad and I am not sure if I can handle the feelings. What should I do! Suicide seems like the only option right now.
     
  2. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Go to the nearest ER. If you think you are in danger of hurting yourself, go to the ER. It really sounds like you need more help , than we can give you. We care about you. We want you to be SAFE. Don't worry about anyone or anything else, please go get the help you need.
     
  3. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I am worried because I don't really have time in college to go to the hospital nor do I want to be with the adults. That scares me even more.
     
  4. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about college right now. Worry about you, and your well being. We have chatted several times, and you have always come across as, a person that is very intelligent and calm. Right now, the impression that I am getting from you is that you are very scared and upset. I have no idea, what happened for you to feel this way. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, please go to the nearest ER and get help.

    Do you have a friend or family member you can talk too? Maybe they would help calm you down and find a better place emotionally.
     
  5. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I feel like I can't talk to my family because they just free out and will for sure take me to the hospital. I hope that nothing bad will happen. I think I am just more having the feelings associated with the suicidal thoughts. I am kind of freaking out. I just don't know what to do. I don't what to go to the hospital because I don't want to be with the adults.
     
  6. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Oh gosh, I'm sorry you feel this way. I remember you saying that the adult ward scared you...if you did go, can you try to handle it for a few days to see if it helps? I can't imagine how scary it would be.
     
  7. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    See Frances, The whole thing is that I would not be able to get out if it wasn't working. I would have to struggle through until they thought I was stable enough. I would have to put on a mask just like I have the past three times just to get out.
     
  8. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I'm so sorry! I wish I could say something to help, but this is really out of my realm. Are you feeling better today? How can you get some help?
     
  9. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Frances Your okay. I don't expect anybody on here to have the magical cure all nor do I expect anybody to be able to fix it. I am not really feeling any better today. I have school today at least so that will be a distraction but right now it is making my anxiety go through the roof because I am worried someone is going to figure out that I am suicidal. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and my therapist is trying to squeeze me in tomorrow but I don't know if that will happen. I just need help before something goes too far. That help cannot include the hospital though.
     
  10. spacecowboy

    spacecowboy Well-Known Member

    Is there a local prevention line that you can call? Or a national one? If you search online you can find them.
     
    Frances M likes this.
  11. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I hope you can see both psychiatrist and therapist tomorrow. Hang in there! I hope school went okay. xx
     
  12. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Space, the prevention lines freak me out. I am always worried that they are going to send police to my house. But I did try a chat with them yesterday and waited for awhile in line but eventually chickened out and closed the window. Thanks for the idea though.

    Frances, school was pretty bad. My anxiety was so bad that i got sick multiple times. I was so worried that someone would find out that I was suicidal and cart me off to the hospital. I had that happen multiple times in high school. I don't know I made it through it though. So there had to be something to say about that.
     
  13. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I will admit that I don't know what the system is like in your neck of the woods, but there is no way anyone will cart me off anywhere without my permission, I believe that it's against the law unless I pose a threat to someone or an obvious threat to myself. Just the fact that you're feeling suicidal and feeling sick and upset, I don't think anyone can force you into the hospital now that you're an adult...but like I said could I be wrong? Do you think that your past experiences are feeding your fears too much right now?
     
  14. spacecowboy

    spacecowboy Well-Known Member

    ^^^ In the United States and some other countries, that is the case. And if you don't want them to have your name and particulars, use a cellphone, not a landline. Caller ID here only shows that the call is coming from a cellphone. No name attached.
     
    Frances M likes this.
  15. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for that information both of you. I do think my past experiences are keeping me from getting the help that I need. I am also worried about having to defer this semester of school because I will have missed too many classes with being in the hospital. Can they even do that? I don't know a lot of the fear is keeping me from getting what I need. If I would have been back in high school I would have been in the hospital weeks ago because I don't feel safe when I am by myself. I was walking around school on Monday and saw things and thought, that would be a good way to kill myself. My thoughts are becoming stronger every day. It is a constant struggle.
     
  16. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Well, Briezy, why don't you look into things? Knowledge is not just "power" but it's peace of mind. Talk in confidence with someone at the school to find out what your options are if you've had a medical emergency. That way you won't be so anxious wondering will they or won't they defer your semester. I hope you're doing better today xx
     
  17. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Talked with the teachers that have strict attendance policies and one had no idea what they would do with absence due to benign in the hospital because he is a first year teacher. He said that he didn't think they would count against me but he wasn't sure. The other one was like if you miss two classes then your grade drops 10% because there are no excused absences. So guess no hospital for me. I only have class two times a week so if I went in I would most likely miss at least two classes. So that's a non option.