Well, I don't even know what to say. I don't want any replied either. I'm just writing to see my thoughts really. I feel the end is near. It scares me, but I know what I am capable of. I just don't want to go on anymore. I have my sister, but I don't think she would realise that I was gone. I have my mom, but I know with me leaving, there would be less stress. I have my dad, but we hardly speak and he has a new family now. I have my best friend, but she doesn't ever take the time to call me. She won't care. I have no friends, no family. I have no one; I'm alone. People run from me; it's time for me to run from myself. I don't blame anyone for running. I hate what I do, I hate how I act, I hate who I am. I try to change, but I don't know how. I stuck, but not for long. I want to go to College, I want to go traveling, I want a life, but I just don't think I deserve any of that. I have hurt so many people, I deserve to be put in the ground. At the same time, I deserve to live, and feel this horrible, because of what I have done to others. I'm stuck. I don't want to be another statistic, I don't want to be a coward, but I don't want to live like this. It can't be changed, I've tried. My sister is disabled, I love her to death, but it hurts me at the same time. Everyone stares, and points. She doesn't deserve that, It breaks my heart to see. I don't want to have to see that anymore. She can't even tell me that she loves me, when I lover her more than anything. I also feel stupid, because there are people out there that have it far worse, but I stil want to die. If I were in their situation, I would already be dead. I just want to go, so all these feelings will leave, so all the pain will leave. I'm so alone.