I'm really out of new things to say. I just hurt. As always. And I'm not taking anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds because I had some severe hallucinations of men in the hallway and at the foot of my bed and my paranoia got so much worse. But without the meds I have to deal with nightmares. And I'm not talking the kind that go away when you wake up. They stick with me. All of them. Its watching children drown a pastor. And have your family burn to death. And not just that, emotionally tolling things too. Like being abandoned, and cheated on and lied to. But I know its not real. I know it has to just be my subconsious worrying. But its draining. I'm tired. Of everything. I've got more than I can handle. And theres so many things I'm not allowed to talk about. And I'm falling apart. And I'm just done.