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i just do not want live anymore!!

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Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#1
I cannot stand myself and my life anymore, wish I could end it so much, but I cannot, I already make myself in pain, I cannot stand anymore, please take me in my sleep please!!
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hi Marti, I'm incredibly sorry that you're hurting so much, what triggered this?
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#3
Sorry for this :( It was that I thought I find someone again, but at the end seems she just have a bf... Just meaning I not deserve that, I am just a bother for people, now no job too, i already feel bad, with all this is too much to handle for me, i lost i now for sure :( i cannot stay calm anymore, i am so stressed and can only hurt myself
 

Angie

Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#5
:hug: I am sorry you are in such pain.

Relationships are difficult at their best.

A failed relationship doesn't mean you are not a good person, just wasn't a good fit.

I hope you feel better and don't do anything to hurt yourself.

We are here to support you!
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#7
Sorry people...
...i am still alive, but I feel dying inside... Everyday is feeling like a hell for me... I just cannot get rid of this feeling. I am always nervous and stressy and also have a down moody feeling. I cannot enjoy everything anymore, i think already give up, im thinking ways to end it all...this is not i want to live :(
 
#8
Hey Marti.

Everyday you wake up, remember and remind yourself of this.

Silenced on SF loves you, brother! You are amazing and I'm 100% positive that you will find that special someone. Sometimes, when we look for them, they hide...
Focus on YOU right now.. Focus on your health.. focus on your future.. focus on the positives in life.

This helps me:
Wake up early and watch the sunrise..
Hear the birds chirping..
Smell the grass..

How beautiful this life is! I hate waiting... it's hard and it makes me feel lonely.
However, with other people like you in my life, I know I can make it through.
If you need to talk, my friend, I am here for you.

Fight the fight.
 

flowers

Senior Member
#9
hi Marti, thats a lot of loss you wrote about. Someone who you thought could be your gf and also loss of a job. I am sorry. I know what it feels like to not want to live. I ask that you hold on. Because the future truly is unknown. for now I know it feels horrible. Just hold on. and know there are people here who DO care.
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#11
Hey Marti.

Everyday you wake up, remember and remind yourself of this.

Silenced on SF loves you, brother! You are amazing and I'm 100% positive that you will find that special someone. Sometimes, when we look for them, they hide...
Focus on YOU right now.. Focus on your health.. focus on your future.. focus on the positives in life.

This helps me:
Wake up early and watch the sunrise..
Hear the birds chirping..
Smell the grass..

How beautiful this life is! I hate waiting... it's hard and it makes me feel lonely.
However, with other people like you in my life, I know I can make it through.
If you need to talk, my friend, I am here for you.

Fight the fight.

Thank you and thank you all what you wrote... Theres much more, and i know other people have more worst then me... Maybe i expect too much, but why i see people around me have things i not have... It is not i want luxury, just want a love, a job , a normal life... I just want feel how it is, i do so much to make it true, but always something in the way, like i am not allowed to have that, always there is something wrong going what I try, i am tired of trying and trying, while I fail anyhow. I am just tired to do so much efforts and get nothing in the end, it is so tiring and makes me so done, i am sorry, some people not understand me, what I feel... Do i have to feel happy and go on... I am going on and on, but I fail and fail always, i feel like a loser at end. I feel always so stupid, while people think i am overreacting. Can i not be sad, if time to time i am failing. They have most things they wanted... I am alive, but why i cannot have some of those things...just some! More i am not asking! I am tired of trying over and over again... I am so done with myself :(
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#12
I cannot sleep, ive so much things in my head and things going on,, i feel nervous, stressy, my heart bouncing, almost crying... I want run away, but where, i just want be away, maybe dead is best
 

crystalclear

Well-Known Member
#18
Marti, I think silenced was right, focus on your self first, Its not wrong to go looking for love on other people, but its hurting you right now. How about you love yourself first (original right?). And your right not everyone will be able to understand you but those who do will support you. Sure you have failed, but failing doesn't necessarily make you a loser. Even if you've failed at least you've tried. So hang on ok? :D hugs
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#19
Marti, I think silenced was right, focus on your self first, Its not wrong to go looking for love on other people, but its hurting you right now. How about you love yourself first (original right?). And your right not everyone will be able to understand you but those who do will support you. Sure you have failed, but failing doesn't necessarily make you a loser. Even if you've failed at least you've tried. So hang on ok? :D hugs
Thank you... I failed again today, with my gf or if she still is... I just have difficult times now... I called her today, i was bit bother by her acts... But in the end she comfort me in some way, but I feel always the stupid one... Well....dunno... I have so much troubles on my head, money, job, gf, bills, taxes, home things :( i feel my shoulders on the ground now...

I try my best, but today I cried again, i feel so anger on myself :(
 

Marti2003

Well-Known Member
#20
Marti, I think silenced was right, focus on your self first, Its not wrong to go looking for love on other people, but its hurting you right now. How about you love yourself first (original right?). And your right not everyone will be able to understand you but those who do will support you. Sure you have failed, but failing doesn't necessarily make you a loser. Even if you've failed at least you've tried. So hang on ok? :D hugs
Thank you... I failed again today, with my gf or if she still is... I just have difficult times now... I called her today, i was bit bother by her acts... But in the end she comfort me in some way, but I feel always the stupid one... Well....dunno... I have so much troubles on my head, money, job, gf, bills, taxes, home things :( i feel my shoulders on the ground now...

I try my best, but today I cried again, i feel so anger on myself :(
 
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