i just do not want live anymore!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marti2003, Nov 5, 2011.

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  1. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    I cannot stand myself and my life anymore, wish I could end it so much, but I cannot, I already make myself in pain, I cannot stand anymore, please take me in my sleep please!!
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Marti, I'm incredibly sorry that you're hurting so much, what triggered this?
     
  3. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for this :( It was that I thought I find someone again, but at the end seems she just have a bf... Just meaning I not deserve that, I am just a bother for people, now no job too, i already feel bad, with all this is too much to handle for me, i lost i now for sure :( i cannot stay calm anymore, i am so stressed and can only hurt myself
     
  4. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    :( i dunno anymore
     
  5. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I am sorry you are in such pain.

    Relationships are difficult at their best.

    A failed relationship doesn't mean you are not a good person, just wasn't a good fit.

    I hope you feel better and don't do anything to hurt yourself.

    We are here to support you!
     
  6. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your pain, too. Ending relationships seem to involve so many types of hurt,
     
  7. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Sorry people...
    ...i am still alive, but I feel dying inside... Everyday is feeling like a hell for me... I just cannot get rid of this feeling. I am always nervous and stressy and also have a down moody feeling. I cannot enjoy everything anymore, i think already give up, im thinking ways to end it all...this is not i want to live :(
     
  8. Silenced

    Silenced Member

    Hey Marti.

    Everyday you wake up, remember and remind yourself of this.

    Silenced on SF loves you, brother! You are amazing and I'm 100% positive that you will find that special someone. Sometimes, when we look for them, they hide...
    Focus on YOU right now.. Focus on your health.. focus on your future.. focus on the positives in life.

    This helps me:
    Wake up early and watch the sunrise..
    Hear the birds chirping..
    Smell the grass..

    How beautiful this life is! I hate waiting... it's hard and it makes me feel lonely.
    However, with other people like you in my life, I know I can make it through.
    If you need to talk, my friend, I am here for you.

    Fight the fight.
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Marti, thats a lot of loss you wrote about. Someone who you thought could be your gf and also loss of a job. I am sorry. I know what it feels like to not want to live. I ask that you hold on. Because the future truly is unknown. for now I know it feels horrible. Just hold on. and know there are people here who DO care.
     
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Thats a lot of bad stuff in a short time, sorry to hear that. This girl was just not meant to be, but there is someone out there for you, I am sure.
     
  11. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member


    Thank you and thank you all what you wrote... Theres much more, and i know other people have more worst then me... Maybe i expect too much, but why i see people around me have things i not have... It is not i want luxury, just want a love, a job , a normal life... I just want feel how it is, i do so much to make it true, but always something in the way, like i am not allowed to have that, always there is something wrong going what I try, i am tired of trying and trying, while I fail anyhow. I am just tired to do so much efforts and get nothing in the end, it is so tiring and makes me so done, i am sorry, some people not understand me, what I feel... Do i have to feel happy and go on... I am going on and on, but I fail and fail always, i feel like a loser at end. I feel always so stupid, while people think i am overreacting. Can i not be sad, if time to time i am failing. They have most things they wanted... I am alive, but why i cannot have some of those things...just some! More i am not asking! I am tired of trying over and over again... I am so done with myself :(
     
  12. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    I cannot sleep, ive so much things in my head and things going on,, i feel nervous, stressy, my heart bouncing, almost crying... I want run away, but where, i just want be away, maybe dead is best
     
  13. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Still alive, and my moods change everytime... I still hope on the best , but i am afraid if things get worst that I loose it... :(
     
  14. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    People do not understand me :(
     
  15. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    :( everybody gets tired of me.. what is the point now :( I WANT DEEP SLEEP!
     
  16. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Wish I could stop my thoughts, how can I do that? DO I have to run away :(
     
  17. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Someone? :(
     
  18. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    Marti, I think silenced was right, focus on your self first, Its not wrong to go looking for love on other people, but its hurting you right now. How about you love yourself first (original right?). And your right not everyone will be able to understand you but those who do will support you. Sure you have failed, but failing doesn't necessarily make you a loser. Even if you've failed at least you've tried. So hang on ok? :D hugs
     
  19. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Thank you... I failed again today, with my gf or if she still is... I just have difficult times now... I called her today, i was bit bother by her acts... But in the end she comfort me in some way, but I feel always the stupid one... Well....dunno... I have so much troubles on my head, money, job, gf, bills, taxes, home things :( i feel my shoulders on the ground now...

    I try my best, but today I cried again, i feel so anger on myself :(
     
  20. Marti2003

    Marti2003 Well-Known Member

    Thank you... I failed again today, with my gf or if she still is... I just have difficult times now... I called her today, i was bit bother by her acts... But in the end she comfort me in some way, but I feel always the stupid one... Well....dunno... I have so much troubles on my head, money, job, gf, bills, taxes, home things :( i feel my shoulders on the ground now...

    I try my best, but today I cried again, i feel so anger on myself :(
     
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