A little bit about me... Growing up I had a constantly depressed father that beat me into hospital a couple times when I was a little kid, didn´t matter if I did something good or bad, he just beat me for no reason. My mom was an alcaholic. Since I was born it was basically hammered into my head that I´m a complete loser and a failure at life. I didn´t have any self esteem going into school so I was an easy target for the other kids in school and I literally had 0 friends the whole time I was there. I was bullied every single day. Often times I´d fight against 3-6 kids after school all by myself while the other students just stood around laughing and spitting on me while I was on the ground bleeding. Then there was a time when my mother was about to die because she drank too much. Some guy at school somehow found out about it and all the kids were trying to make fun of my mother. I then snapped and broke the kids jaw and almost got expelled from school. The thing that I hated the most though was that I couldn´t get a girl to save my life. I asked girls out, but they literally told me I was too ugly, skinny, not rich enough, a loser and that I have no friends. After school I basically hated all mankind. I hated them so much that I completely isolated myself from society. I haven´t had a conversation with anyone in over 4 years. I swore my only goal in life was to get revenge. I wanted to get revenge by being the highest person on the societal totem pole. I channeled all my hatred and used it to improve myself. I started my own business from home and made tons of cash. I took steroids and worked my ass off in the gym for years and now have the body that would win most Men´s health fitness contests. I dress in expensive clothing and drive a super expensive car. I only sleep in once a month and usually only get around 3-4 hours of sleep each night because I´m working all the time. Now that I have achieved all of that I still feel like a complete outcast. I tried talking to people, but when I look at a person I feel so much rage and anger towards them that I just leave. I don´t approach normal women because I´m terrified of rejection, so I pay hookers. I´m scared that if a normal woman rejected me I would basically feel like the ugly, poor loser with no friends that I was when I was a kid. If that happened I know I would shoot myself. I just can´t relate to normal people anymore because all I see is the persons that made my life hell as a kid. I don´t think I´ll ever be able to have a meaningful relationship with anyone for as long as I live. So what´s the point of all this? I´m still depressed every single day despite having so called "success" in life and thinking of suicide everyday.