I’m a fulltime member here. I don’t like being attacked, so I’m not posting this under my username. (It’s true: I’m scared and I’m a chicken. I have encountered someone I consider to be a bully here, and I don’t need the shit I'd get.) I don’t get why, sometimes, when people respond to threads, they feel the need to "put others in their place" in an unkind way. Sure there are trolls, attention-seekers, and fakers. In cases like that, it’s easy to say nothing to the OP - we can just send our comments to the staff - report the thread. The post and/or OP can be dealt with then. I think the staff try hard to deal with these things. Yes, attention-seeking posts, wacky opinions without backup info, and inflammatory/controversial topics that get started in the wrong place on the wrong foot can be frustrating. Attention-seekers or fakers can make us ask, “Why should we support people we don’t believe?” “Can’t they see their own part in this?” But here’s the thing: I’m sure no one responds to every single thread on the site. So why respond with anger/honesty/belittling if it seems an OP is a troll or might have ulterior motives when we could just not respond at all? If we must reply, we could keep in mind that when we’re angry, we’re aggressive and defensive, which usually leads to an attack if we aren’t careful in how we say things. “No one would think…blah, blah, blah” is an accusation and belittlement. “Could you explain what you mean by…blah, blah, blah?” gives the OP a chance to explain. “I don’t understand/In my experience, I’ve never…blah, blah, blah…” offers an opinion and allows the OP to explain their view/situation. But there’s yet another option: Saying nothing. Why say anything at all to someone who provokes such negativity? Sometimes, when I read threads/replies that are getting heated, I wonder how the comments affect the OP. I don’t think they help the OP, unless he/she is a troll, in which case any response is what trolls are after, and a “challenge” is even better! An even more important question is "What need does making nasty/"honest"/"humorous"/belittling/accusatory comments satisfy in the people who make them? He/she is trying to show his/her intelligence, power, insight, etc.? That just makes me wonder if he/she really feels so badly about him/herself that he/she MUST speak out in an unkind or challenging way. I just don’t get it. I can’t think of anything that truly justifies hurtful, self-satisfied and smug responses put forward under the guise of “just being honest,” “meant to be funny,” “meant to alert others to inconsistencies” etc., etc. At the extreme end of the scale, these are tactics used by verbal/emotional abusers. At a less extreme part of the scale, they are bullying tactics. At an even less extreme part of the scale, they are adolescent tools for manipulating friends/siblings/parents. I think some comments made in some threads are simply downright nasty and do not show the maturity and self-restraint I’d expect from people of the age group on this site - regardless of any person’s own pain, problems, or issues. We all have shit in our past. We can all make a mistake now and then, too. We can even be silly, stupid, dogmatic, and extreme. But nothing, absolutely nothing, excuses repeatedly insensitive behavior and frequent unsupportive, trivializing comments. I just don’t get it.