I just don't know anymore...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chel.96, Jan 21, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Chel.96

    Chel.96 New Member

    I've only just started on this site :/ but I'm at a dead end, I'm 16 and I've been through a lot, I know I probably sound like an every day teenager, but idk what to do anymore, I suppose it all started when I got physically abused by so called friends and family, I accepted it cause I knew they loved me and I know they do now, so I kinda grew up expecting everyone to do the same :/ I was in my first serious relationship at 14 where I lost my virginity (please don't judge on my age) I lost it due to circumstances, which happened throughout that relationship :/ I've never really spoken about it, cause I've never really been able to vent my feelings off to anyone, I split up with that person after being cheated on, abused etc. and got with someone else, this person treats me better than anyone but recently I can't help having these thoughts, when we argue it destroys me, I know I'm only 16 but I don't think that love has age restrictions, I just don't know where to go anymore, I've tried talking to my boyfriend but he doesn't get it and just gets angry when I tell him about the thoughts of suicide, I haven't told him about me joining this site, because I know it will only cause an argument and that will push me even more over. I have tried so many times to talk about these flashbacks I have, but all he does sometimes is hug me, which sometimes I need, but then there's I need help not just a hug, I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm fed up of these flashback and fed up if feeling down and I don't want to lose my boyfriend cause he is really the only person I can talk to properly, but lately I can't help but think of ways to end my life and its killing me because I know it will hurt him :/
    Sorry for the long post just had to get it off my chest :/
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I will tell you what to do hun YOu call your doctor you get a referral to a therapist one that deals with trauma ok one that can help you heal hun You bf will not be able to understand or help you he is not a professional hun You tell your doctor that you need help and why that you are having these thoughts because of the abuse in your past and you need professional help to heal. There is a way out hun with support of someone who knows how to help you hugs
     
  3. Chel.96

    Chel.96 New Member

    I don't have the courage, I have tried before but every time I try I talk myself out of it saying to myself that I can cope on my On my own
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am telling you hun you cannot deal with this on your own it is to hard I am old ok and i have difficulty trying to deal with this on my own I went finally after years of suffering and got professional help hun Don't waste years ok don't do that to you YOu get help Now hun while you are young Reach out hun get the help you need and deserve ok don't waist anymore valuable time hugs
     
  5. Chel.96

    Chel.96 New Member

    I don't know :/ I just feel so confused, one day everything is okay, then next I'm having a flashback or a nightmare, I just don't want to sit infront of someone who I don't know and talk, I have major issues with opening up to people face to face, I can manage through a screen but when in comes to confronting things, I kinda just bury my head in the sand
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.