I just dont know anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kaze3824, Dec 24, 2009.

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  1. kaze3824

    kaze3824 New Member

    I have been back from Iraq now for 6 months now. Then just last night, my girlfriend who is pregnant with two of my kids(she is carrying twins), and kicked me out of my house. I know if i go to my commander, I will be discharged and ruin my military career. I just want this pain to end. I have thought of several diferent ways to do this. I would go to my arms room and draw my POW(personaly owned weapon) but the armorer is on leave until the 5th january(which i suppose is a good thing). I just dont know what to do anymore, but thankfully, my squad leader put me up in the barricks with a battlebuddy. I want to end it, but I cant. please help me!
     
  2. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You can PM me if you want to talk privately there. There are lots of wonderful people here on SF to listen and help, you're not alone. We're all here for you.
     
  3. kaze3824

    kaze3824 New Member

    part of me just feels like crying, and another part of me wants to scream until my head fuggin explodes
     
  4. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    I bet a lot of us have felt like that before...I know I have...and I know I've cried and screamed and collapsed, just laid there and felt like I could never get up again. But somehow, by some miracle of the universe, I found a last spark of strength to always get up again. I know you have that inner strength, you can look at yourself and see you need someone to lean on right now. It takes so much strength to look at yourself and not run away in terror. You're here now and you're strong and you're not alone. Don't be afraid to cry - sometimes crying is cleansing.
     
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