i just dont know how to deal with this...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by purpleAPY, Oct 15, 2010.

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  1. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    this awful feeling... i can hide it sometimes but it never really goes away.
    i've told my roommates, my therapist, and one of my good friends.
    i dont know what to do though... i dont see my therapist again until a week from now. she said i shouldnt have to go to the hospital now, not unless i feel unsafe at home. and i think right now since im living with other people that are aware of the situation, that isnt necessary... yet...
    im just afraid of things getting worse. or even remaining the same as they are now. i cant keep living with this.

    i asked my therapist about medication, and the soonest meeting i could get with the psychiatrist was like 3 weeks from now...

    what the fuck am i going to do for three weeks... i cant keep going on like this...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No if you are feeling that bad go to the emergency of the nearest hospital and see the pdoc on call okay tell crisis you are having suicdal thoughts and need medication ordered now. Actually your regular doctor can order antidepressants as well call himor her okay. No need to wait three weeks get help now take care
     
  3. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    if i were to go to the hospital would that be really expensive?
    would i go to the ER?
    i wouldnt even know what hospital to go to or how to deal with that... i dont have the money to pay for a whole hospital visit, what if they admit me? i wouldnt want to be an in patient...
    im just scared, and confused, and right now all my roommates are away and im by myself and its really freaking me out
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i don't know where you live Canada you can go to hospital and be covered for it If you cannot afford to go in call crisis line just to talk to a real voice and let them know your just afraid if you tell them you will hurt yourself they will send someone there to take you to hospital so just say you need somene to talk to okay. Can you not talk to your regular doctor to get the medication you need that would be the fastest way. take care
     
  5. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    i dont really have a regular doctor... i havent been to the doctor in years.
    but either way the doctor i saw when i was younger is a pediatrician and far from here cause im in college now.
    the therapist im seeing now is through the school
    and i live in the US, ER visits are expensive
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes they are im sorry to hear that. You are in college is there not a doctor available there for you to see. My daughter college had a doctor on premises for all students to use. Can you not make appt to see that doctor on campus if not ask the coucillor in your school what doctors are available in the area for you to see explaining your financial situation.
     
  7. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    there is not a psychiatrist i can see right away... the closest appointment they could make for me was 3 weeks from now.

    i could talk to my therapist about finding another psychiatrist in the area, but even that would take time, i would need to find one, and see if they could set up an appointment and everything.
    and at that point it might not even be worth spending money to see someone sooner.

    i need something immediately, something that will help me now and tomorrow and sunday and monday but maybe not tuesday and wednesday and thursday.
    just something that will help me function, help me appreciate little things, be the slightest bit happy...

    im so fucking lonely right now...
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then you need to call a crisis line good samaritans just to talk to someone to help you get through this night okay these people are kind and knowledgable and will help you find connections i am not aware of Call crisis line okay one of the moderators here will give you the number in your are and let them help you
     
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you may be able to see an md on campus
     
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    No one can be turned away from an Emergency Room in the US...go and get the help you need if you feel that you cannot wait...J
     
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi purple. Do you feel that you are in danger of harming yourself? If that is the case then you need to get help immediately, before you do something drastic. If you feel like talking about what is bothering you then feel free to post. We're always here to help. :hug:
     
  12. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    i dont think i'm in danger right at this moment.
    but i do feel really awful, more depressed than ive ever felt...
    i just want to get better and i dont want to wait 3 weeks to meet with the psychiatrist.

    if i went to the hospital could they just give me drugs and let me go?
    or would they keep me there? cause i dont want that.
    also wouldnt that be expensive? i dont have the money to pay for an ER visit...
     
  13. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    if you have insurance, it might cover all of the er visit. if you can't pay the bill, I would say just don't pay it.

    going to the hospital and having them keep you there might be a really good thing.

    you might be able to see an md sooner than you're psychiatrist's appointment.

    I hope that things get better soon!
     
  14. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    my insurance is terrible and definitely will not cover it.
    i really dont want to go to a hospital.
    i really really dont.
    maybe if things get like way worse, but im sticking with what my therapist said... i dont need to go to the hospital unless i feel unsafe at home... and right now im not quite at that point where i think i would definitely kill myself if im left alone.
     
  15. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you might be able to see an md with your insurance, or you might even pay out-of-pocket if you can't get an appointment. I think you can see an md for around $80? it depends
     
  16. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    but i would still have to find an md...
    which could take a while? maybe?
    plus $80 is a lot....
     
  17. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you could start at your school health clinic maybe? they might not be able to prescribe, but maybe. Or maybe they could direct you to a md?
     
  18. purpleAPY

    purpleAPY Well-Known Member

    the psychiatrist im seeing is at school...
    i might be able to ask my therapist if she knows of an md who could maybe see me sooner, but even that will have to wait till friday...
     
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