I Just don't know what to do anymore

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JoeJaeg25, Sep 11, 2013.

  1. JoeJaeg25

    JoeJaeg25 New Member

    I lost my job 2 weeks ago..I hate being broke. No one is hiring anywhere. I'm stuck. Then days after the woman I have my heart to crushed it. She tells me we need space then days later she tells me she loves me..I died when she said that because she doesn't get to say that to me after she left me like that. I'm a writer so I write all the time but when she left i couldn't write. I was so dead. Now I'm feeling better but nothing in my life is going right. I don't feel special. I don't feel like anyone values me being here. The only thing I'm worried about is my family paying for my funeral...if they could afford it I'm sure they wouldn't mind...everyone gets mad at me bc I'm not sensitive enough. I'm a schizoid I can't help it but I only get feelings rarely so I feel like I got betrayed when people mess with my heart while its willing to love. I have so much talent I want to be great but I'm really ready to give up...I can't love and when I do I get betrayed. I shouldn't be here...I'm so close to God but I don't get why I still suffer. I grew up tough and I'm 21 now..what am I doing wrong? I love myself so much I feel like I don't deserve this kind of sadness
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You don't deserve sadness none of us do hun i am glad your your friend came back and told you she loves you hun You are so young i hope in time with therapy and treatment you won't feel so much sadness. You are not your illness hun ok you can do many things you chose to do hugs