I'm 19 years old and theres just something wrong. I'm at the point where I feel like the only way out is to end it. I'm a college sophomore who really just can't figure out what to do with myself. Back in November, I realized that I didn't like my major and planned on switching. After time and times of yelling and screaming, I fianlly reached a sort of understanding with my mother. In January, we found out a secret that has caused a huge gap in my family. I'm the eldest child and its up to me to pretend like nothing is wrong. Lately, all I can think about is how I can end my life and its scaring me. At this point, I just can't figure out why I feel this way. I've given clues about my unhappiness, and while it seems my mother gets it at some points, she continues to call me lazy and ungrateful. I feel like I'm drowning.