I just don't know what's wrong

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jazz2793, Mar 17, 2013.

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  1. Jazz2793

    Jazz2793 New Member

    I'm 19 years old and theres just something wrong. I'm at the point where I feel like the only way out is to end it. I'm a college sophomore who really just can't figure out what to do with myself. Back in November, I realized that I didn't like my major and planned on switching. After time and times of yelling and screaming, I fianlly reached a sort of understanding with my mother. In January, we found out a secret that has caused a huge gap in my family. I'm the eldest child and its up to me to pretend like nothing is wrong. Lately, all I can think about is how I can end my life and its scaring me. At this point, I just can't figure out why I feel this way. I've given clues about my unhappiness, and while it seems my mother gets it at some points, she continues to call me lazy and ungrateful. I feel like I'm drowning.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are in school hun use the councilors there for support ok You talk to someone there and get the help you need to stop these thoughts If you mother is toxic to you then keep your distance from her ok You seek out the help you deserve hun ok talk to someone at your school and get help hugs
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. Glad you found this website. Its a very good one, as far as I am concerned. Please make it your community where you can come and talk about things, if you want.

    As total eclipse said, there are school counselors. Have you thought about talking with one of them? Would that be possible?

    I think that being obligated to pretend nothing is wrong will cause all sorts of inner challenges that are too much to handle alone. It can cause what you are describing. So I do hope you can find a trusted person to talk with about it. E.g.: a counselor. Life is hard enough without carrying extra weights while we are trying to get through. I hope you will be able to talk here as well. Again, I am glad you found this website. I hope you will feel at home here.
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