NOt sure how to start this so here it goes. Between the ptsd and depression I am at my end. I feel like I dont really matter, or that people dont care. I also feel like I have become too much for people. I know certain people told me i am not too much, but I just feel like I am. I dont know I just feel like there is no hope for me anymore. I just want to be the happy girl I once was again. I dont know I just feel so sad right now. I dont know its dialysis, its my parents drinking, its financial issues, its not being able to find a new place to live, its feeling lonely like no one wants to deal with me. Its knowing that I found the man of my dreams and yet I will never have the wedding I always wanted. I guess maybe there is a lot of grief that I am going through, I dont know but its hard. I just want to sit down and cry. I dont know just too much I wish would just go away. I guess it would just be nice to be held while I cry and have someone wipe my tears away.