I just don't know...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Akita, Nov 8, 2010.

  1. Akita

    Akita Well-Known Member

    I apologise... I really don't even know what I'm writing about...
    Every day I hide being suicidal because... well... I don't know... I really can't stand seeing councellers, therapists, etc. because they make me feel terrible... I can't even be in front of them without bursting into tears... I had to see councellers for years against my will when I was younger because my father's side of the family was so abusive. I never told them about my abusive mother or anyone else... My family has tried to kill me on some occasions. Not always directly either... Though, I'd rather not get into that.
    I know I need help. I've been losing my sanity. Even now, I'm shaking uncontrollably. But... all I want to do is to die. I can't get help when the only thing I want is to die... Yet, I'm just a wuss so I have to wait until I lose all my sanity to kill myself.
    I'm sorry that I'm wasting your time.
    I'm also sorry if what I wrote doesn't make sense... I'm not good at talking...
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    What you wrote made perfect sense. Sorry you're not doing well. Keep talking to us.
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I'm here for you, and you can PM me at any time to talk to, I've never really gone through anything like that, but I'll always be here for someone in need. So, whenever you feel up to it, PM me, and I'll get back to as soon as I can, you deserve all the help you can get, and I offer whatever amount that I can give you. Good luck in the struggle, but I'm sure everyone on this site will be here as your rope, to pull you to your feet. :) Stay safe, and get back to me asap :) *hugs*
  4. Akita

    Akita Well-Known Member

    H..Hello. Thank you both.
    But... I still feel as if I'm just a waste of time... It prevents me from doing so much... :cry:
  5. Akita

    Akita Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking about something... Have any psychiatrists ever truly "healed" anyone? What about medication? They just say, "Here, take this for the rest of your life." I've never heard of medication doing anything but temporarily changing someone.
    It's things like these that prevent me from getting "help".