10 plus years, and that's only the start. I went from SH to and ED and OD's and even attempting suicide. I know that its not ok to try and kill myself, that gets me in trouble. I dont take big OD's i know the risks, always the same pills, so its calculated... and i got to hospital if i need to. I used to tell my mental health team but i'm pretty sure they just got sick of it and kept saying i should go into hospital for the night etc but i never see the point. Their goal is too keep me alive so i can go through the therapy and treatment. I dont thing the ED is a big problem, i tend to skip meals and try to lose wight, i occasionally vomit and not eat for a few days at a time, BUT im not underweight, im in the healthy range and aside from low iron and tiredness i pretty ok. I dont self harm as much as i used too, yes its deeper and more deliberate... planned and often i should go to hosp to get it stitched (but i dont). Two years ago i attended a residential treatment program for 3 months.. it helped in some areas. I was meant to be at treatment program for 6 months and learn how better to cope to the point where i no longer do any of these things... it didnt work, didnt last cos of me. Ive no idea why im writing this, guess i just needa put it out there. I feel like none of this is really that big of a deal adn that friends/team are making it to be one. Everyone is asking/wanting me to do different things and i really just cant be bothered doing any of them. i go to appointments cos im afraid of what will happen if i dont, i talk because im supposed to. i do things im told but i have little or no desire to actually change and im often just left with feeling despair/empty.