The last few days I have been fantasizing aboud comitting suicide again. I look at something even an ordinary inanimate object and think to myself, hmm..how can I hurt/kill myself with that. I havent had these irrational thought patterns in a long time. Thats all I have been thinking about the last few days. I just want to say screw it and give in. I have spent the last three hours just riding the city bus with really no place or direction. I feel almost like I am going invisible like a ghost. Plus I have been reading about others who have killed themselves, wishing that was me.