i just dont want to be here any more

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by skroodgirl, Aug 17, 2011.

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  1. skroodgirl

    skroodgirl New Member

    but i can't bear the thought of the pain i will cause my children. my youngest is 16, the others are in their 20s. my marriage is a mess, my husband says he loves me but he doesn't want to be faithful, he's looking for someone else. we are currently living apart. and now i've fallen in love with someone else's husband, and its just not right, he cares a lot about me but i don't want to break up his family. i've just talked to him tonight and he's going away for a few days, there's just no future in it, but i can't let it go, he's been such a brilliant friend.
    i just don't want to be here any more, but i'm so trapped, i can't stop crying, i don't know what to do
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i think getting some therapy for you may help It will give you strength to see you can stand up on your own i t will help you deal with your seperation and help you hold on for you children Therapy hun talk to your doctor maybe even get on some medication to keep the sadness at bay. hugs
  3. skroodgirl

    skroodgirl New Member

    hi, i went to the dr a few weeks ago, he said he doesn't really believe in tablets, basically told me i should get out and do some physical exercise :( my mood goes up and down a lot, today its really down
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

  5. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member

    A therapist or counsellour would be a great idea, I think. They can help so much...

    Sorry to hear about your pain, please know my PM is open any time you need to talk.

    Take care, your future is bright and I'm proud of you for holding on. <3
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Think of it this way.. Your new friend is straying from his wife, What makes you think he won't do the same to you?? Men are dogs.. Yes I am male that is why I am telling you this.. Theres plenty of single guys out here..
  7. skroodgirl

    skroodgirl New Member

    i didn't choose it, he came after me, i tried really hard not to respond but i ws very vulnerable and he's been a friend for years before this happened, i told him it was a bad idea and that one of us would get hurt and it would probably be me. i can't turn my feelings on and off like a tap, they're just there and they hurt. i know its wrong, i don't need telling that. i need him really badly at the moment - i won't tell him that either - and i would never break up his family, he loves his wife and kids and that's fine with me. i just need a hug
  8. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member


    You're amazing.
  9. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you need a new doctor if yours blew you off with advice to exercise.
  10. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Think about it like this. Who is your love strongest for? Those assholes you find yourself in love with, or your kids. There should be no competition there whatsover. One is a cheater, the other seems to be willing to cheat, that says nothing nice about either one of them.

    If you kill yourself, your kids will know you committed suicide, they will be taught that this is a coping mechanism, and I am sure you don't want that either. Nor, obviously, do you want to break their hearts and leave them. You keep thinking about what it would do to them if you did leave, and maybe that will give you the strength you need to hang on.

    And your right, butting in on someone else's marriage is wrong. Just as bad as the woman that did it to you. So I hope you don't do anything wrong there. You need to end that friendship, find a guy that is available, and one that will treat you right. There are plenty of guys out there, we don't have to settle for a cheating jerk!!
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