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I just don't want to deal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tenholehweels, Jul 5, 2011.

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  1. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    with this anymore.

    I spent 20yrs with my wife,we were not apart more than a few nights
    the whole time.

    Now its been 7months without her,i have no hope and really don't care

    Sometimes i don't even want to see my kids,it reminds me of the pain,
    the pain that never leaves.

    It eats at me day and night,i almost never sleep,i'm angry all the time
    the hatred is building and i'm afraid maybe i'll end up hurting someone
    else besides myself.

    And what does it matter anyway? i can't work i'm broke any day now
    they'll be putting me out of my home,so i have no hope.
  2. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    You domatter.
    I'm sorry you're in so much emotional pain :(
    I hope you are able to get some Hope back.
  3. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Hello tenholehweels,

    I can understand the sadness you feel from the situation. Sometimes relationships that we think are the best, relationships that have lasted for many years have to come to an end to allow for a better relationship to come.
    Like all humans i am sure you did some mistakes as no one of us is perfect, we will all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes so that you can have a better life which you deserve.

    Your kids belong both to yourself and your ex-wife - you both have the same responsibilities and the same power to see your children, i can understand that your kids remind you of your wife - nonetheless i am sure your kids want to see you. Where do you see your kids, at your ex-wife's house or at another place? Do you see your ex-wife when you see your kids?

    Do you feel that you want to share what happened with your ex-wife and you deserved? Sharing helps and since you are angry this is still affecting you.

    Regarding a job, can you search for a job? What did you study? also what do you enjoy doing everyday?

    I understand your feeling of feeling hopeless, you just need time and happiness will be back to your life.
  4. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    Can't work i'm 100% disabled.

    i had a good friend but year before last he died after a long fight with

    my kids mom and i live in this tiny little town so i see her and her
    new boyfriend all the time.

    i have my daughter a lot because her mother works a lot
    and i have her here.

    and due to some careful planning on her part she controls
    virtually every aspect of my life.

    she can make my life a living hell anytime she wants.
  5. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    well when i thought it couldn't get worse it did.

    my son can't take it anymore.

    he's leaving for Miami tonight at midnight on the greyhound bus.

    so now i'll be all alone.
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