i just feel awful

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by undercoverlover, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    i used to cut but i havent in a long time
    i was recovered
    scars had healed
    but now i feel like i NEED to
    i feel awful, shaking, crying, blaming everything on myself
    i need reasons not to
    i know its bad
    i know i shouldnt
    i know its dangerous
    but it feels so good
    and at the same time im really scared. i made a promise to my best friend, arielle. ive known her since i was two and we both struggle with self harm. i promised that i wouldnt cut myself again. i dont want to break that promise. but i feel like i need to do this.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Then hun you call your friend for support you talk to someone you get outside away from place you harm you throw away all your tools ok
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know the struggle having SH'd all of my childhood...please try to express what is going on...finding your voice is critical to continuing to treating yourself well...post here, speak to people in chat...do what you have to so that you can have your feelings acknowledged
  4. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    I will get rid of most of my tools but some of them I need for crafting (which is my main hobby). Crafting keeps my hands busy and distracted from SH but it also provides me with a lot of tools which is unfortunate.
    My girlfriend happened to self harm that very evening that I posted this, as well as my friend (a different one from previously mentioned), and it all was just a huge trigger. But both my girlfriend and I have promised each other that we won't harm ourselves again, and I have her name written on my wrist. I'm hoping this will help. I will also talk to my therapist when I see her (in a week or two). I was just panicking a lot and it felt like the only option.
    Thank you all for the help :hug: I will keep posting here and try to keep myself from self harming.
  5. hoophula

    hoophula Active Member

    I feel for you....cutting sounds painful. I want to self harm, but in a more definite way, so I will wait for my posts to be approved before I do it. I know this site is supposed to help me, but I fear it might make me worse. thanks, try to love yourself, you are the only you.
  6. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover smooth and grey as far as the eye can see

    I know how you feel. Maybe the self harm forum and things like that are triggering you. if it is, it's definitely not the thing to stay with. if you want help but dont want to be triggered you can stay in individual contact with me or someone else. self harm really isnt the answer, i know it feels like it in a crisis though. stay strong :hug:
  7. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    if it triggers you then please log off and look at something less triggering x
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