I was a social outcast my entire childhood. I got picked on, laughed at, and excluded on a regular basis and every so often people would start fights with me usually ending with me getting beat up. People picked on me because I was heavily overweight and I wore cheap clothes. I never went out and hung out with people. Nobody wanted to be my friend. I have a very low self esteem because of this. I've just been going from job to job since I graduated high school. I have 5 jobs since I've graduated. I hate work just as much as I did school. It's the pure evil that I have to deal with that kills my motivation. I can only take it so long and then I quit. This last time really killed my motivation. I just don't understand how people can be so evil. I have to ask myself if they have a consciousness. WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS THE CONSCIOUSNESS? I've been unemployed for 6 months. I've lost so much motivation to go on because I know no matter where I go, there will be bullies. They don't care. I'm 24. I've never had a girlfriend. I still live at home. I can't talk to anyone because I'm extremely shy. All I keep getting from the so called, self-righteous "realists" in this world is "Nobody's gonna give that to you. You gotta go out and get it." and "That's just the way the world works" and "Nobody's gonna hand it to you". I hate when they say those things because they don't know what I've been through. They don't know the torment I've been through. They just can't face the fact that I have been traumatized. I feel like I'm not cut out for life. I'm 24, but I feel like I'm 70. The only reason I keep going on is because of my family. Not money, not goals, not a significant other. I just can't seem to find happiness in this life. I can't do anything. I can't find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I can't keep a job. I can't make friends. It's like there's no more left in me.