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I just feel lost

Sombre

Well-Known Member
#1
I try not to post here, I never feel like I can help anyone in return when I can barely help myself :( things are just piling up and I think I’m stuck in the depression/giving up hole again. The coronavirus pandemic has made it all worse as well. I just feel alone and hopeless. I never fit in anywhere, I’m just unlikeable and don’t even know why. My fiancé’s family hate me - why wouldn’t they? I have nothing to offer... I don’t know why my fiancé stays. How do you change for the better when you feel like you have to? People with overwhelming depression and anxiety, how do you survive without being swallowed by it?
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#2
Hi @Sombre. Life can get overwhelming and it's no wonder you feel depressed. There's no shame in that. Also, you dont have to feel guilty about giving back, its not possible when you're in that frame of mind, its truly understandable.

You're being very hard on yourself. Someone said to me if I was a friend ro myself what would I say, surely not how I continue to berate myself. That's the depression talking. Because when I read your post I see a kind, well written person.

You asked how do we change for the better? I believe that it starts with becoming aware with how often you have a negative thought. Even if you make a quick check mark. I like to use visuals to stop them.

Also, we learned some self care tactics when I was in hospital for trauma care. Do things that you like or just enjoy the sensations of warm water, cooking, a walk outside. Simple body stretches. They were big on mindfulness exercises which I did use and still do if I'm having a hard day at work. Life is hard with family and work so it's no wonder we feel anxious and overwhelmed. I apologize for the long reply but I can empathize.
 

Sombre

Well-Known Member
#3
Thank you Lane, your kindness helped me a little today. My fiancé’s mother and friends are horrible to me and they’re manipulative and controlling. They’ve never liked me because I won’t let them control our relationship. That ontop of anxiety and depression, hopelessness, and feeling alone :( it’s hard not to be hard on myself when everybody else tends to be
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#4
Thank you Lane, your kindness helped me a little today. My fiancé’s mother and friends are horrible to me and they’re manipulative and controlling. They’ve never liked me because I won’t let them control our relationship. That ontop of anxiety and depression, hopelessness, and feeling alone :( it’s hard not to be hard on myself when everybody else tends to be
If and when you get stronger, you'll pay them no mind. My daughters grandmother had issues with me, I just ignore her.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#5
Hard to be happy when rejected by fiancé’s family. Want so much to be accepted. Might even like them. People are territorial and jealous Sombre. Unfortunately. Find people that accept you if possible. Treasure fiancé and be good to him/her. Nurture that relationship
 

Sombre

Well-Known Member
#6
Thank you Lane, your kindness helped me a little today. My fiancé’s mother and friends are horrible to me and they’re manipulative and controlling. They’ve never liked me because I won’t let them control our relationship. That ontop of anxiety and depression, hopelessness, and feeling alone :( it’s hard not to be hard on myself when everybody else tends to be
If and when you get stronger, you'll pay them no mind. My daughters grandmother had issues with me, I just ignore her.
I hope to be as strong as you :)
 

Sombre

Well-Known Member
#7
Thank you Lane, your kindness helped me a little today. My fiancé’s mother and friends are horrible to me and they’re manipulative and controlling. They’ve never liked me because I won’t let them control our relationship. That ontop of anxiety and depression, hopelessness, and feeling alone :( it’s hard not to be hard on myself when everybody else tends to be
If and when you get stronger, you'll pay them no mind. My daughters grandmother had issues with me, I just ignore her.
Hard to be happy when rejected by fiancé’s family. Want so much to be accepted. Might even like them. People are territorial and jealous Sombre. Unfortunately. Find people that accept you if possible. Treasure fiancé and be good to him/her. Nurture that relationship
Territorial and jealous is a perfect way to describe them, it’s an endless tug of war that I’m not even a part in they just assume it’s that way, act like it is and wear me down
 

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