I just feel so sad

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lestat, Mar 15, 2016.

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  1. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    My mood is so low. I messed up my relationship because of my mental health. It wasn't all me, but I have to accept that I probably made it so that it can't be fixed. That hurts really bad.

    I know it's common to go over things... But its killing me. Regret is eating me alive. It gives me anxiety attacks every few minutes and just walking makes me feel like I'll be sick.

    I don't know what to do. I know you guys and girls can't fix me... I know this is just support... But, I wish it was more. I feel I just need support from people that have no motives apart from help.
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Lestat, I'm so sorry you feel so sad, it's a terrible feeling to deal with. I wish I had a magic wand then I could fix you and everyone else on this site including myself. But just to let you know you're not alone.......I'm here and I care, cause I know how it feels.
    Brian
     
  3. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I just wish we could all press a button and meet up. Just help each other. I bet so many of us would be better if we had friends who understood.
     
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I agree, that's the hardest part nobody seems to understand unless they've felt like we feel. We're lucky to have this site to come to, I helps us not feel so alone. Take care my friend and hope you feel better real soon.
    (((Hugs)))
    Brian
     
  5. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yes. It's hard. This is better than nothing and can help... But it is missing that vital thing of seeing someone and voice.
     
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Yes, I know Lestat :(
     
  7. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* @Lestat I am so sorry to hear this.

    Do you want to talk more about what happened?
    Perhaps putting it into more words would help?

    Anxiety is one of my least favourite things in this world. Are you getting any professional help?


    I have a couple of methods that might help you right now, they are at least worth a try, the two first are methods I personally use...

    -Try putting a hand on your chest, slowly focus on moving it up and down by your own breath...

    -'Butterfly Hug' : cross your arms over your chest and very gently tap your upper arms one by one in a slow and steady pace, that actually works to cross stimulate the brain and calms you down.

    -The 'Grounding' method:
    Find 3 things you can see, describe them to yourself in detail... size, color, shape? etc?
    Find 2 things you can touch, describe them... are they cold, warm, smooth or rough? etc?
    Smell or taste something and describe it in detail as well.

    It probably all sounds weird, but it actually works to calm your brain and body down. Give it a try.

    *hugs*
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  8. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I'll take a screenshot and use it.

    I basically ruined a two year relationship. I could see things weren't going great... She wasn't able to deal with my depression... She made it worse. Then she said some things and I freaked out. I told her to pack her stuff and leave. I didn't really mean it... I was just mad. But she freaked out to. Then all went to hell and she left. She booked a flight to Canada and is now there with her family.
     
  9. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Have you spoken to her since? Is there any chance of reconciliation?
     
  10. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    The way it ended I doubt we'll talk. When she left she told me she'd tell everyone my secrets... If she did, I could never talk to her.
     
  11. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry Lestat, it's a tough situation. Relationships are so difficult. I've been widowed and divorced, both hurt. I've had several other relationships, but they never lasted so I gave up, I guess I'm broken. I hope she keeps the trust you had in her to share your secrets. The only cure I know for the heart.......is time :(
     
  12. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yeah... I think you're right. It's just time I wish I could skip because it hurts so much. She's the first person to break my heart. Normally it's me who leaves and finds someone else... She hasn't found anyone else, but she left and doesn't want me.

    It kills me... Im getting older now and feel I have nothing to show for my time on earth. Just broken people and ruined relationships.

    I don't want to hurt anyone... I just seem to do it without realising
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  13. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry about what happened. Maybe it's better this way if this is the way they are handling it? I know it's really difficult right now.

    Of course you could always try to get back in touch, but from what you say she seems toxic and you deserve better than that.

    Don't give up on yourself because you met some wrong people. Love can happen when you least expect it. My boyfriend and I met just few months after he swore off love and relationships forever after what his ex did to him... that's 19 months ago now. It's not impossible.

    I am sure you're not hurting people, you've just met the wrong ones yet. Don't lose hope now
     
  14. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks you. That actually made me feel better. Maybe you're right.

    Maybe I should just not look... Maybe not looking is what women like... If I'm looking maybe it's unattractive.

    But you're also right. If she did that, she isn't right for me. I need someone who understands me and wants what I want. She changed a lot... I should have known because she was broken when I met her. I help fix her and now she changed... I guess I am not needed... As sad as that sounds.

    Sigh... I really loved her.
     
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm so sorry you're hurting. Time does heal... I didn't believe that when I was hurting after a broken relationship, but now that I look back, I know the only thing that could heal my heart was time.
    It's cruel that she threatened to tell any of your secrets. That in itself shows that you deserve better. That's a horrible thing for anyone to say.
     
  16. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks again. Yeah, it was horrible. But I was the better person at that point because I wouldn't share any of hers. I guess I really must have upset her... From my point I don't know how she could react like that... But, I guess I'm not her so I can't say.

    I do worry though. I worry about when I hit anger in the stages of grief. I worry I'll say something about her or post things of her... But, I don't think I'm like that.
     
  17. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Bro I am in exactly this same situation except it's been over 2 years now since it ended. I have terrible regrets that make me sick to my stomach every day about this girl. I've found the only things that make it easier are telling people about it and having several distractions and hobbies. But in quiet moments like when I'm lying in bed or taking a bath, it all creeps back, and I try to bury myself in something I find interesting.
     
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  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Know you are not alone in this, what are you afraid you will post? If it's what I think it is please don't, that will make matters much worse. Sorry you are feeling this low, know we are here for you and that we do care, I hope you have a better day today than you had yesterday :)
     
  19. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I'll try to talk to more people about it. I'm glad that you're mostly ok now though. I do hope that in two years I can move on... That sounds really sad to still be thinking about it.
    I need to find hobbies. I don't have any.
     
  20. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    It is probably what you think... But I highly doubt id ever do anything. It's just a fear of mine.
     
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