to be honest. i dont know what to type. im in complete shock. i am very active on another online forum. and a close friend from there, has passed away. i knew her well. over the internet. through the forum. through IM's. through snail mail. and i knew she had cancer. but until today. i didnt realise that the cancer had won. well, until a few minutes ago. i just went to check her diary to see if there was any update as there hadnt been one for a long time. and there was an update. a copy of an email her mother sent to one of her close friends. saying that she had passed on on the 12th of april, 07. i dont want to bring things from other forums over here, but there isnt much support over there about this as everyone is in shock. i am sitting here in tears, preying, wondering if she knew that i still had the photo she sent me of her smiling and happy, that i never deleted it. that i cared even though i was on the other side of the world. and im just wondering why someone who wanted to live so much was taken. i cannot believe this. im sorry. im babbling. no one on here really knows me. i didnt know where to put this. but i needed to put it somewhere. how do we move on after losing someone we loved?. espically if we only knew the person as words on a screen, letters on pieces of paper, and some photos?. im just feeling very very sad at the moment. if anyone has anything they can offer me for this. ill listen to anyone. all i have really said over on the other forum is that i loved her and RIP. i just cannot understand. i feel guilty. i wish things were different. i wish i wasnt sitting here crying. i wish that she had let on how bad things were. i wish we had known. its just such a shock. im sorry again for this babble. i just need to get it out. (and anyone with suggestions for how to deal, i need them. i really do). thank you to anyone who has read this. t. xx.