I just get so tired sometimes

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by meeko1004, Oct 5, 2011.

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  1. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    and tired of being tired. My life feels like it's on this endless loop where everything feels like dejavu and most of the time I don't really know what I'm doing here.
    I just... I don't know... It feels like I've already ended. and not even in a melodramatic way either. I'm just done. I've just quite naturally run out of reasons.
    Sometimes I'll get impatient with people who express their sympathies in one of the rare times where I'm honest about where I'm at, but I really want to throw something in their face and flip over a table or something just to get their reaction. to get their attention. to make them really see me. I mean honestly, who are we kidding, does anyone really care? Will it really be such a tragedy in anyone else's lives if I faded out anymore permanently?
    But I think the greater problem or tragedy is that I don't care.
    The opposite of life isn't death, it's apathy. And I'm already there. I keep trying to try to find some way to live, and I'm just clawing through thin air trying to get to some place I don't even know.

    I just can't shake off the feeling that I shouldn't be here anymore. I don't want to be here.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I don't take the position that I should try to talk someone out of killing themselves if that is what they want to do

    Instead, what I would say is that you can probably get better if you get treatment. If you can bring yourself to see a doctor, you may be able to get some treatment that will change your point of view

    are you getting any treatment now?
     
  3. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    Yes, I've had intensive talk therapy/counseling and have tried sertraline and am now on citalopram.

    I had an excellent therapist - who I can't see anymore because I've moved - but I'm still not sure if it's made any sustainable difference. A lot of this just seems like the only way it will resolve itself (if it ever will at all) is by being lived out or by my own discovery.

    So far the medication has not been very effective or noticeably helpful.
     
  4. mytime

    mytime Active Member

    It's a pain that ADs take so long to be helpful. If you've had a reasonable time on citalopram (2-3 months), ask for a medication review. It's very common for people to go through several ADs before finding the right one. In particular, both your meds are SSRIs. They may suggest trying another SSRI but there are other options it they don't work for you. When I was in hospital, I talked to a young guy there who'd been on three SSRIs with no help. They'd moved him to Venlafaxine and he was finding it helpful. For me, tricyclics seem the best but I'm currently on a trial of Mirtazipine. It has fewer side effects for me.

    Hang in there!
     
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Meeko)) you are deeply in the grips of real bad depression now.. perhaps look for another new therapist now just to try and get a bit of help and relief saying it all in therapy again.. also lots of different antidepressant meds out there.. maybe another combo just might do the trick..

    the feet stuck in concrete syndrome i call it.. know very damn fucking hard to get going and try anything new but any movement adn efforts are good for you..

    hope you get to feeling a little better and talking here is a good first step..tc, Jim
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    :thumbsup: jimk and mytime


    the stuff in my signature might be helpful
     
  7. Jackie's Strength

    Jackie's Strength Staff Alumni

    I just wanted to say that I can relate to how you feel. I too feel physically and emotionally drained, and as though I'm done with life. It's like life's a game and I've lost. Or like I'm decades older. I know all too well about the apathy too. Please hang in there - don't lose hope. The times I've mentioned "not seeing a point" to my therapist, he's told me that I don't need to right now - I just need to keep moving forward, taking action. I will be able to see the point in the future, he says. And if not, then I can re-evaluate and go from there. Best of luck to you. I hope that things get better soon.
     
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