i just got my medical card

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wheresmysheep, Feb 9, 2009.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    which will get me the help i need, ie get to a therapist and medication etc.

    but now i'm scared.

    i never went back to my doc for a repaet prescription as i felt the meds werent working, and also i didnt want to leave the house, and now i have the prospect of meeting a new person who will deside if i need help etc, and right now, i feel like just saying "everything fine i dont want help" cause i dont want to let everything out cause i'm in that numbe emotional palce right now, and i dont want to open the hurt.

  2. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    nah be brave sheep xx there is not a lot in your area is there.. take what you can... nobody can force you to do anything, there are lots of meds out there anyway.. its finding the right one. it may be the help you need if you go.. you deserve that surely? x
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i dont know.. deserving is not what i'd call it. its just i've always just "coped" bottled it all away and put on a brave face. and even thiugh i know if i dont go, i will relapse maybe just a month down the line, maybe 3years down the luine, but for thos periods of time i can be "normal" and go out and laugh and smile, and push everything aside...

    better than facing all the crap i've been through.
  4. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    :hug: I don't know what to say, just I'm here if you need someone. I'm glad you can get the help you need without worrying about the money side of things, but take it one step at a time, at your own pace. Be kind to yourself Emma. You've gone through a lot and you're stronger than you think, I haven't known you that long but I can tell.
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    thanks hun, yeah it is a good thing i dont have to worry about the money now.

    i'm more panicing about talking about everything, i have it all contained away right now and i dont want to unbottle it all, cause i feel like i'll come undo and i wont be able to cope with it all..
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Why don't you write down everything and then let the doc know you are nervous and let him/her read what you have written.
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    its not just like that. i have no problem actually talking about everything. its
    cause when i went to the doctor after my OD (which started thos whole process), she asked if i had experienced any form of trauma and i said no and she said well then your probably suffering with a chemical imbalance, and i played along saying things like, thank god you believe me, and that it was good to know that there is something wrong.

    but now i have this card, i'm supposed to go get an assesment, which means being honest about everything or its pointless. but i'm being refered to the assesor by the doc i saw after my OD, so she'll tell them what i told her, about no trauma and that its prob a chem imbalance.

    they will probably think i'm lying after saying what i said to her, being asked if theres been any trauma and saying no when i've been through parental abuse and rappe.
    so then i said nothing at first and now all of a sudden i'm syaing all this
    they're goign to be like "liar".

    i sometimes look at my life, and i know if anyone else was to tell me it i wouldnt believe them.

    so thats what it is and i feel like shit, but hey so does everyone so i should just STFU
    cause of course i'm not allowed to feel like shit and say i do, am i
  8. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    i had a breakdown and couldnt speak to anyone till some1 on here said write it all down,i did that handed it to dr and the next day saw a pyshiatrist and put on meds...i had to go back to dr every week after to see if meds were working,they were changed 3 times and now i feel great .... i just wish i went sooner ,,,hope this helps
  9. Haley-Elizabeth

    Haley-Elizabeth Active Member

    Congrats on the med card. Financial Help like that is hard to cme by. DOn't worry about meeting the new doc. They're only there to help, not to down you or disbelieve in anything you say. And if they do, talk to a supervisor or see someone else. Cause they're there to help, just like everyone here at SF.
  10. fweeps

    fweeps Staff Alumni

    hi sheep, now that you got the medical card you you qualify for mental health you need to be honest. Its YOUR time. dont waste it by hiding things mostly in the beginning, so you didnt tell the doc the truth....its ok. Its hard to be honest and upfront with someone mostly when its abuse your talking about. My advice is to let you know that this is your chance to get the help you deserve. hang in there and im always here for you k

    maria aka fweeps
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