Well I'm new here, and I really don't know what to say. This is very weird for me. I am 21 years old and I am in college. I am depressed all the time, and there are a lot of days where I feel suicidal. I am very afraid to go see a psychiatrist, because I do not want to end up on medication that has horrible side effects. I am very scared to even talk to a psychiatrist. I believe I may suffer from bipolar disorder as well, but I haven't been diagnosed properly. I honestly do not know why I feel the way I do, I've been like this since I was a child. I am very introverted, and I have no friends at all. I hate waking up most days, because I have to leave my house and be around people all day. I really cannot take being around people for too long, but online I do just fine because I cannot see anyone. I don't know how to actually live. I just know how to be. That is all I do. I just like exist you know? I can't explain it better than that. I really hope this is a place where I can feel comfortable. From what I've seen here before joining it seems like that kind of place. I don't know, but maybe some of you can give me advice on whether it is ok to see a psychiatrist? I was supposed to talk to one a long time ago when I was younger but I never did. As of right now I am trying really hard not to drop out of school and leave home, but with each passing day it is getting worse. To be honest I am really scared ok. I just don't know and I am sorry if this is long. I just thought I would give an intro about me. Thanks for your time.