I just need some old fashioned help...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by yuop, Jul 28, 2007.

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  1. yuop

    yuop Member

    Well...This is really hard for me to tell anyone, I am too scared to even tell my family and friends. I am just looking for some answers I suppose.

    To start off my name is Anthony, I am going to be turning 21 in September. I recently moved out of my parents house and I am now living with two guys I went to high school with. I started having suicidal thoughts and paranoia about 6-7 months ago now. I also am very depressed and also and very disappointed in with how my life has been and is going for me. I have never actually attempted suicide, but I have seriously contemplated it.(holding a knife to my wrist or sitting in front of a pile of xanax) I don't know if this is going to help, but I'm going to tell a few reasons that I believe is causing my depression and these terrible thoughts.

    I met my bestfriend, Rachel, about 5-6 years ago though a friend of a friend. I mean this girl is beautiful, the type of girl that when you see you say "WOW" she is breathtaking. She has the best personality ever. As soon as I met her, I had a crush on her. As the years went on we became really close and my feelings have gotten stronger to the point of knowing that I am in love with her. I know she doesn't have feelings for me that way. I think this could be a strong reason. I also believe if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here and I strongly believe that my love for her is the only thing that is good for me

    Also I am buried in debt, I have thousands of dollars in credit card bills and such.

    Another thing is that it feels like my friends really don't want me around anymore, or they are talking behind my back about me.

    Also, I have very loving parents, but I seem to treat them and my sister like shit. Even If I am out having a "good" time, I am really in a bad mood.

    It feels as though I have nothing good going for me in life, and I don't know what to do or how to change it. Someone please help me out.

    Anthony
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2007
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Hey Anthony,

    So are you still friends with this girl? Are you working? Sounds like it's time to stop spending and pay off all the debts.
    Are you friends with the guy you live wih, or are they the ones you think dont want you around?
    How about trying something new to find new friends. Somehow I think that because this has been going on for 6 months, it'd be easier to get help and turn around now...I could be wrong though.
     
  3. yuop

    yuop Member

    Yes I am very much so friends with her still. I recently got laid off of my job. I honestly really have no money to spend. The guys I live with, I would consider them my friends, but to an extent.
     
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    You can't make someone fall for you unfortunately, but at least you still have her in your life I think.
    Have you been looking for a new job>? it can be hard and drawn out process I know...
     
  5. yuop

    yuop Member

    I have applied at a few places, but I really have no ambition to even work let alone leave my bed
     
  6. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    what's stopping you? What goes through your mind?
     
  7. yuop

    yuop Member

    I honestly don't know, I just feel like I am the biggest piece of trash and I feel like I am never going to go anywhere in life or amount to anything
     
  8. yuop

    yuop Member

    Would you mind Instant messaging me on MSN or AIM?
     
  9. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

  10. yuop

    yuop Member

    Anyone else?
     
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