I have been battling this on and off for 14 years. Today and for the past few weeks I've been thinking about dying, but I haven't been able to tell anyone because I don't want them to worry. I don't actually plan to because I know it would be painful for the few people who do love me. However I feel like I can't talk to them because all they would do is take me to another hospital and I don't want to go. I don't want them to worry, plus other than two people I feel like no one would really care. I tried to reach out for help and no one replied, except one person who said she would come, but then canceled last minute because she didn't want to drive. People say I'm sorry you feel sad, but that doesn't help me. It isnt just being sad.It isnt that I want to die, I just don't want to be in pain anymore. Sometimes it's not as bad, but it's a constant struggle. And I don't have the energy for it anymore.