I just need someone to listen

#1
I have been battling this on and off for 14 years. Today and for the past few weeks I've been thinking about dying, but I haven't been able to tell anyone because I don't want them to worry. I don't actually plan to because I know it would be painful for the few people who do love me. However I feel like I can't talk to them because all they would do is take me to another hospital and I don't want to go. I don't want them to worry, plus other than two people I feel like no one would really care. I tried to reach out for help and no one replied, except one person who said she would come, but then canceled last minute because she didn't want to drive. People say I'm sorry you feel sad, but that doesn't help me. It isnt just being sad.It isnt that I want to die, I just don't want to be in pain anymore. Sometimes it's not as bad, but it's a constant struggle. And I don't have the energy for it anymore.
 

Petal

SF dreamer
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
Hi @rachelg3 Welcome to SF.

I understand that it doesn't help you that others says sorry you're sad, but its true we are sorry you are sad and wish we had a magic wand.

As for helping you could you reach out to the professionals and go from there? I understand you don't want to worry your loved ones but its a different kettle of fish when dealing with professionals. Please keep seeking help because you are truly not alone and you are worthy of help, compassion and support just as much as the net person. Best wishes :)
 

Karmitkurmit

King of the Hedge
SF Supporter
#3
Hello Rachel, and welcome to the SF family.

I'm so happy you found this site; obviously I'd prefer that you didn't have too, but SF is a safe environment that allows you to talk about these feelings without fear of judgement or condemnation. As Petal said, it would be ideal if you could seek professional help as many here do, but for the time being please don't think that you have to go through this alone; you will always get a reply here and although we may not be able to give you answers, we can certainly walk beside you whilst you search for your own. You are loved here and we truly care what happens to you.

If and when you're comfortable to do so, would you like to tell us a little more about why you think you're feeling this way? I notice you say about being taken to another hospital; has this happened before?

Stay safe and see you around the forum. {{Hedgehugs}}
 

Ineluki

The Storm King
#4
Hi Rachel.

I think that you have identified a real problem most of us have. We don't have a sadness problem. It is an energy crisis. We don't have any energy left.
The struggle is so difficult when we lack the willpower to keep going.

*hugs* to you. Keep posting. We are here to help if we can.
 

Walker

Everything Zen
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#5
Hi Rachel, welcome to the forum. While no one really wants to have to come here, we're still glad you've made it and are part of the group now. I'm sure you'll fit right in here. This is a great place to just have people listen. You can also get advice, join the chat, real along with what others have said or post replies when you feel connected to what someone else is saying. I'm sorry you've been drawn to show up but I hope you find what you're looking for here. Take care of yourself and be safe.
 

Woowoo

SF Pro
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#6
Hi Rachel and welcome to SF.

I just want to reiterate what others have said. It may not help, but I am sorry that you're feeling this way and that you've been drawn here. However, I'm glad that you found us and hope that it will help you. Just being able to talk to people who understand has been a massive help for me so I hope it is for you too.

We're always here to listen and support. Take care.
 

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