I just need to die already.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by K-mount, Nov 5, 2015.

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  1. K-mount

    K-mount Member

    The thing that seperates me differently to others, is that I always automatically think of a suicide plan the moment the feeling of sadness starts. I find it hard for me to cope, such as breathing techniques or any others.

    It's hard not to think about non-suicidal thoughts when I am suicidal. I want to die when I feel suicidal, so I try not to do coping techniques.

    I have had a several suicide attempts, two landed me in the ER with intensive treatment and then the mental health ward afterward. The rest I ended up in the mental health ward, one by which I turned myself in which I now think is quite pathetic of me.

    Anybody else feel the same?

    I've been in the mental health wards of hospitals about 7 times within the past 5 years with different medicinal combinations.

    I am currently on Abilify, Benztropine Mesylate, Bupropion, Lithium, and Clozaril.
     
  2. K-mount

    K-mount Member

    I've been in a IRTS (intensive residential treatment services). I've also been a couple of group homes for the mental health. I currently live with my parents since 2013 and that one time I turned myself into the hospital is when I lived with them. I tried doing what they want me to do in order to get out of the hospital to continue living with my parents. I absolutely hate the hospital and I was a pathetic imbecile for turning myself in. I always say what they want to hear me say because I know if you don't, they will put you in involuntary treatment and a chance of heading back to the loony house.
     
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