The thing that seperates me differently to others, is that I always automatically think of a suicide plan the moment the feeling of sadness starts. I find it hard for me to cope, such as breathing techniques or any others. It's hard not to think about non-suicidal thoughts when I am suicidal. I want to die when I feel suicidal, so I try not to do coping techniques. I have had a several suicide attempts, two landed me in the ER with intensive treatment and then the mental health ward afterward. The rest I ended up in the mental health ward, one by which I turned myself in which I now think is quite pathetic of me. Anybody else feel the same? I've been in the mental health wards of hospitals about 7 times within the past 5 years with different medicinal combinations. I am currently on Abilify, Benztropine Mesylate, Bupropion, Lithium, and Clozaril.