I just need to get this out....

[kirstyx]

I just signed up for the forum so I could spill my guts really


I'm 19 years old and my life has been shite

My mother hung herself when I was 2
My maternal uncle died in the navy
My maternal granfather died

Leaving me with my abusive father
He bet me and hit me, mentally abused me

My paternal grandmother died

Totally on my own with a monster

The beatings got so bad I was in and out of hospital and put in foster care
Only to be given back to thar scum

My "father" then remarried this woman was a life saver after a year of him abusing the two of us she got me out of there and for that I was in and out of safe houses

I cut all contact with my father

The mental scarring that left affected me for years still does



Now I'm in a relationship that I can't get out of I love this man so mug but he treats me like shit, not physically but he lies and lies and lies and he is one more in a long list of people that I've loved that's hurt me...

So I tired to end thing and move back home because I live with hk
....showed up at my step mum and got told to leave and now I have no where to live

I just want to give up I really do

I am thankful that my life could be worse and I always try and be positive but everything always goes wrong...

And the only thing I can see is that I'm the common factor and to stop it is to end my life. I've tried many times before...



I want to live but I don't if my life is never going change, I can't imagine where my life is going to go now homeless with noone and i just want to go...


Sorry I know people are in worse situations sorry

 

[total eclipse]

Hun don't be sorry you have had a hell of life. Can you go to a womens shelter a place where they will help you get on a new path give you skills to make life better try calling a womans shelter okay they will aide you and give you t he support you need hugs

 

[tweetypie]

just because ppl have worse lives than this doesnt mean u have no right to feel how you do ! also it sounds pretty bad to me.. Firstly you need to find a safe place to stay once youve done that you need someone you can trust that you can talk to about things. Also you need to befriend a few of us on the site to get you through the worst days and there will be more but also there will be better ones too life wont be like this forever it will get better. Add me if youd like ill be more than happy to chat to you.
much love sarah xx

 

[kirstyx]

Thanks just being on here and talking I think is going to help

 

[Fitzy]

Thanks just being on here and talking I think is going to help

I think it will help you emotionally. What practical steps can you take to keep yourself safe?
X

 

[kirstyx]

I don't know I really don't know what to do

My mum doesn't want me
My boyfriend doesn't want me

I'm stuck

 

[the masked depressant]

sorry to hear about your life, kirsty. sounds like you've had a ruff time of it

welcome to the forum though, you've found a nice place- and we all care believe me

 

[doityourself]

Im so sorry you had a childhood like that, and I agree just because others have had is "worse" doesnt mean that your feelings are not your own.

What options do you have? Can you go to a shelter? Do you have any friends you can stay with for a couple of days?

Are you in the states?

I hope that you do find the support here, this is a great site with alot of caring people.

My PM box is always open.

 

[kirstyx]

I'm in the uk

I just can't imagine living my life without him, I know I should get out but I can't I dont have the strength

I don't want to leave and go back to my parents and end up back where I was two Years ago, I'm not even talking to my step parents

I don't have any Friends, im so lonely

Im such an idiot

 

[doityourself]

I'm in the uk

I just can't imagine living my life without him, I know I should get out but I can't I dont have the strength

I don't want to leave and go back to my parents and end up back where I was two Years ago, I'm not even talking to my step parents

I don't have any Friends, im so lonely

Im such an idiot

Honey, after taking years and years of abuse, you get use to it and start to accept that its yours. Really think about your life and if this is what you want out of it.

Im here if you want to talk, PM me anytime.

 

[Petal]

I'm so sorry for the mental and physical abuse you suffered at the hands of that monster. I guess all you can do now is look to the future and be positive. Your relationship doesn't sound healthy in the least, try and get out of it before the abuse starts all over again, much love, Inmemoryofyou