Hi everyone, I've just registered (obviously cause I was feeling very down) but I couldn't post or reply.. it kept saying that I haven't enough "privileges".. since I'm not familiar with this forum I thought that I was being rejected and it made me feel very pathetic.. then I've received an email informing me that my account has been approved and I understood that there was no rejection here, just me being paranoid.. it made me laugh and it was the first time in a long time that I've laugh so spontaneously ! So thanks for making me stop crying.. I've woke up this morning crying and I just couldn't stop.. Right now, almost everything is going wrong in my life.. I'm 36 and I had to move in with my parents.. at 28 I was a successful lawyer, I met the man of my dreams, lived in a great appartement.. then we've got engaged, bought a house.. then he has financial problems then I had troubles at work.. and without even understanding how things turned out, here I am at 36, single (no kids, never married), moving in with my parents, I have no income but tons of debts.. I've been searching for a job for a year without success.. There was also some health issues, I've suffered numerous deaths in my family and the last one was in septembre, my aunt (who almost raised me) died when I was visiting her.. I've spent the night with her cold body holding her hand and her face is still hunting me.. I'm trying to keep it short, so I began at 28.. but just to put some perspectives, I grew up in Algeria (northern Africa), I had a wonderful childhood then comes the terrorism.. my family has to move to France where I had the joy to discover racism (and cold weather and not going to the beach after school !).. I had to fight hard to turn my life around and I thought that I did.. So now that I've hit the bottom, I must admit that I'm too tired to climb the Everest once again.. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm thinking about suicide as a rational solution even if I know that I shouldn't.. I can't talk about this to my parents, and after all the problems I've got these past years, I have no friend left.. It's very hard to find someone to talk to when you're depressed, broke and over 35.. at my age most of my friends are married and busy with their kids, they don't have time for me.. besides they're more used to get help from me than the contrary (I'm a lawyer, I'm the one supposed to help people...) It's the same with my family, I'm supposed to be the strongest one and I'm not allowed to feel down.. my parents are the one who complain to me.. Sorry for the very long post, I've tried my best to keep it short but I really needed to put these words out.. and sorry if I misspelled some words, English is only my third language. Thanks for giving me a place to share.